Topic 525 - Praise & Remembrance: Brent Mydland by Be Kind To Your Mind (phred) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:15) 343 responses He gave us more than just a little light. 525, 1 of 343: Karen Rabow (petsitr) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:30) 3 i saw him shoreline with his little girl..they were both so happy looking i remember thinking to myself that i had not seen him that cheerful in awhile...i feel real bad for them. 525, 2 of 343: Jeanne Merrill Rich (jrich) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:31) 2 I can't believe this? I was just thinking the other day how Brent was really contributing to the band. I'm still in shock!! 525, 3 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:33) 18 I sit here.......numb, in shock and in pain. I'm also feeling guilty because one of the first things I thought was: "Will I ever see the band again?" What a selfish person I can be at times. I'm also thinkingback to the last shows at Irvine where we got to see Brent do the Blow Away rap for the first time. I remember him talking about making a fist and grabbing love for all that it is worthe and putting that love into your heart. I want to scream and there is no one here in the office that will understand why. Dammit Brent, you had it all, why did you have to rely on substances? I guess sometimes you just can't see the light, no matter how you look at it when it seems like you are at the bottom of the pile. Brent, you put your soul into your singing. It seemed like most of your songs dealt with being hurt, in one form or another. Rest in peace, I hope you find happiness now. 525, 4 of 343: Oh Noooooooo, Mr Bill (liam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:34) 1 I can't say anything. 525, 5 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:36) 1 I feel as if I've lost a member of my family. 525, 6 of 343: Pseudable (wlagirl) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:38) 1 Im too numb to feel the chills running up my back. 525, 7 of 343: Ronald Albert Grondin (rag) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:39) 2 we all have. 525, 8 of 343: kevin mccormick (kmc) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:40) 3 Very hard reading all this.. I'm still so stunned. Wish I knew what to do or say. 525, 9 of 343: K. Watkins (dtv) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:41) 2 Goodbye Brent. 525, 10 of 343: Tina Loney (onezie) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:42) 2 It's an endless tragedy to lose someone with music as such a part of his soul...... 525, 11 of 343: Hal Watson (halibut) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:42) 8 A friend just called me too... This hurts. I really liked brent and had a lot of respect for him because he was willing to open up emotionally in his music and be vunerable. this is a real tragedy. what a loss :_( 525, 12 of 343: Jon C.Sievert (jon) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:43) 3 We've come in late on this, having heard only in the last hour about the death. Can anybody give a summary of what happened. Thanks. Jon and Linda Jacobson. 525, 13 of 343: Ronald Albert Grondin (rag) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:46) 4 they just announced it on CNN showbiz today. DAMN, THIS SUCKS !!!!!!! 525, 14 of 343: Dick R. Allgire (diregire) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:49) 1 Death don't..... 525, 15 of 343: John Judson Hearn (jj) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:51) 1 Damn, damn, damn. Another victim of the crime. 525, 16 of 343: Rob Diamond (diamond) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:51) 8 I was just thinking back to last October when the band was at the Meadowlands. Jewel, jal, and myself were walking in Greenwich Village and past Brent walking the other way -- we said "hi". He looked so lost... that image of him is kind of ingrained in my head, and I'm seeing it now. Just when things were getting better and better... what a loss. I'll really miss him. 525, 17 of 343: Dick R. Allgire (diregire) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:54) 2 Dam just called me a little while ago with the terrible news. What is the official word? What happened??? 525, 18 of 343: Kenneth R. Hammel (drkstr) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:55) 14 All I keep thinking about is his song I Will Take You Home and his darling little girl hearing it as she grows up ... without him. This to me has to be the greatest tragedy of life - children who lose parents. At least she'll have a strong family in us. Anyone who feels selfish thinking about the future of the band ought to stop and see life right now from this little girls eyes and think how lucky they still are. I'm so blow apart right now. Goodbye. 525, 19 of 343: Fen Labalme (fen) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (14:59) 8 I'm lost... I remember him at Shoreline and Cal Expo (I think) with his little girl,` too. It looked so fine... so fine.... I can't stop shaking....... Bye Brent! Lots of Love! We'll *all* love your daughter for you! 525, 20 of 343: Benefit of the Doubt (alc) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:06) 6 what an incredibly sad thing. he just kept getting better and better, too. we've all had discussion about who in the band was irreplacable. brent mydland is irreplacable. i can't imagine anyone else doing what he did for the grateful dead. so long, man. you don't know how easy it is to love you. 525, 21 of 343: Jeff Loomis (jal) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:06) 4 I saw Brent going from the sound board to the back stage area at Sacto. At least it looked an awful lot like Brent. Had to show his credential at the gate to the back stage area. It was Brent, black Harley shirt. Just finishing up CSN for DAM: "We got to get ourselves back..." 525, 22 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:08) 5 I just heard McNally's statement on the radio, which was essentially that a friend of Brent's found him dead this morning and that there was no word yet as to cause of death. And that he'd made a hell of a contribution and that McNally for one would miss him like hell. And then they played "Just A Little Light." 525, 23 of 343: John Karmelich (morngman) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:08) 4 I heard the news from my co-workers an hour or two ago. I'm still very numb... Best wishes to his family, our prayers our with you. 525, 24 of 343: John F. Whitehead (jfw) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:08) 5 I'm stunned, too. We say we can prepare for these things, like by realizing the realities of life through our close calls in the past, but it doesn't help any when it really happens. i don't know what to say... 525, 25 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:10) 7 I thought about not posting my selfish comment, but I'm trying to be truthful. So, please no one take offense.... Brent and his sounds were part of the core that drove the band. Brent's voice and keyboards will never be replaced. damn, damn, damn. 525, 26 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:11) 3 The classic rock station is going to do a tribute to Brent in about 30 minutes. I called Andy Preston, the program director, with the news. 525, 27 of 343: Audrey Fine (audreyf) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:15) 4 we're all so numb around here...the thought of replacing him doesn't even make sense to us... my heart aches for his daughter... 525, 28 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:17) 1 I second that emotion. 525, 29 of 343: James Scofield (cpttrips) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:19) 7 I just finished reading all the postings on my BBS about this! I was praying that I would log onto the WELL to find it just a rumor! I can't even think of what to say right now.......I feel so numb, so.. 525, 30 of 343: Donald Pasewark (pda) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:21) 1 This sucks. But you gotta keep movin'. 525, 31 of 343: Nicholas A. Holmes (naholmes) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:30) 4 I wish I wasn't reading all this. I don't think it'll sink in for a while. Love to Brent's family. What a show he must be puttin' on now. 525, 32 of 343: Kenneth R. Hammel (drkstr) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:32) 2 I think this is the time to just pause for a moment. Life will go on tomorrow. Right now it's at a stand still. 525, 33 of 343: K. Watkins (dtv) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:38) 3 Our office is almost 50% deadheads. We're in shock here. So sad. Everyone has a Brent story. He will not fade away. 525, 34 of 343: Be Kind To Your Mind (phred) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:39) 13 He was an amazing, unorthodox, unique keyboard player. Especially on piano . . . "Bird Song," "Friend of the Devil" . . . In the last couple of years, whenever he got the spotlight and they cranked up his playing some, he'd get a big roar from the "Brent side." I talked to him once, in a bar at Telluride. Just for a few minutes. He was cordial; I think he enjoyed some of the attention in a relaxed scene like that, but it must be awfully hard to be in the public eye so much. I'm gonna go play the 10/3/87 "Bird Song," as I often do, but this time with a little more contemplation . . . 525, 35 of 343: Jeff Loomis (jal) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:48) 2 I'm the lonely Dead Head here, but the well, the net and the phone are getting me through. Really would like to find out more details. So much speculation. 525, 36 of 343: Scott and Leslie Goldberg (amdew) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:49) 12 I can't believe that this is happening. It seems like it took so long for him to find his place in the band and perhaps with us as well.... We loved his input, a unique side to the band that noone else could have offered. I can't help remembering back to Merriweather '83 when I was selling photos outside.. One of my shots didn't have Brent in it and some guy was absolutely irate...Maybe he knew something that I wasn't going to know for a while. I too can't fight that selfish part of me that asks "where do we go from here?" No matter where it is we'll all miss Brent and will never forget what he shared with us. 525, 37 of 343: alan gottesman (terrapin) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:49) 15 Since I heard the news a short while ago, I've been remembering many personal memories of Brent. How I saw him at Giants Stadium last year, doing Blow Away, and thinking at that point I'd finally really accepted his presence in the band. Then I thought about his performance at Madison Square Garden in 1988, when his daughter joined him onstage for my first listen of I Will Take You Home. There's something about that hot seat on stage that makes weird things happen. I will miss Brent a lot, I think he added a lot to the band and I feel badly for his family. If his death was truly "accidental" as I'm hearing, I just hope it wasn't something he brought on himself, if that makes sense. You know our love will not fade away...... 525, 38 of 343: Scott and Leslie Goldberg (amdew) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:53) 5 (This is the other half of amdew). Speaking fo finding his place...Brent was at his best (in my opinion) when singing "I will take you home." His whole heart and soul went into that song, out to his little girl. He has found his place in my heart...in all of our hearts...and even though he's gone, "you can't get lost when you're always found." We Love You, Brent. 525, 39 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:56) 3 Like Jeff, I find myself logging in every 30 minutes or so to read all of what we say. Keep on saying things folks, we all need to support each other right now. 525, 40 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (15:57) 2 Fare you well, fare you well, I love you more than words can tell. 525, 41 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:01) 5 Does anyone know if the hotline has been updated? I'm getting "all circuits are busy now" when i dial the 457-xxxx numbers. According to what the radio station said here, McNally's statement said "We don't know where or how Brent died." 525, 42 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:03) 3 I remember hearing Blow Away for the first time. this was right after I left my wife....i rmember telling Debbie Hudson its as if Brent worte the song for me. 525, 43 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:06) 2 The GD office tells me they don't know anything yet. Autopsy is scheduled for tomorrow. 525, 44 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:06) 41 I just got a call from a CBS reporter wanting to talk to someone who knew him. I didn't feel qualified. I sent her to Blair. I sent her to David. I told her she ought to talk to McNally. The things I would say are inconsequential and not the stuff of radio broadcasts. I did meet Brent a couple of times, both around the time of the 20th Anniversary stuff. The first was at a very loose Press Conference announcing the existence of Billy and Brent's band Kokomo (later Go Ahead). For some reason McNally had engineered some TV coverage for this event and invited me to sneak out of the office and check it out. So I was politely ushered into the back room of Front Street and bandying tongue-tied pleasantries with Robert Hunter and otherwise having an acute sense of unreality, and came upon a whole TV crew surrounding Brent. Who was under ferocious lights, and bouncing up and down on the bench doing repeated takes of "Girl Like U got 'em standing in line, one-two-three-four-five at a time." He was having fun, and it was fun to watch. The second time was a few days after that Kokomo was playing the Keystone Palo Alto, and as was my custom in those days I got down there WAY early. And I was hanging out pretty aimlessly in the parking lot since nobody I knew had turned up yet, and there hanging out in the parking lot was Brent Mydland (who was probably the only band member who was invisible enough to hang out in a parking lot in Palo alto). He was quite happy to see a familiar face, seemingly, since even the band equipment wasn't there yet, so we talked for a few minutes about the upcoming gig and what to do in Palo Alto while waiting for people to show up. It was a trivial and completely delightful conversation, and I hate like hell that there will never be another one... I don't know what the guy's demons were, exactly. I'm pretty sure they existed. At the last Shoreline I watched him do Blow Away on the giant screen. It was partly my own state at the time, but I kept watching him up on that screen, struggling with God-knows-what that only BEGAN with recalcitrant music. If anybody had asked me at the time why I was crying, I'm not sure what I could have told them. Peace and love to Brent and to all who loved him. 525, 45 of 343: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:10) 15 I've spent the last couple of hours trying to figure out what to say. I still don't really know. All I can say is that I am so very sorry. It's so very sad.I feel so deeply for his young daughter. I wish I could hug her and make her feel better. The sense of loss is SO deep. I suppose I've wished so much that this would never happen. Yes, Brent was irreplaceable. Every member of the band...every one of us is irreplaceable. I'm sure the band will go on, and maybe, just maybe this will save one other life. Even one would be a gift. I wish I'd known a way to save this one. I'll never forget talking to him at the Rainforest party in NYC. He seemed so shy. I couldn't help thinking about what David said before. I kept wondering if he had any idea how good he was or what he contributed. I'm rambling. I know. I have his voice echoing in my mind and it just won't stop. This hurts. I guess he's home. May he finally be at rest. Peace to him. Peace to his daughter. Peace to all of us. Furthur. 525, 46 of 343: I'm so sad (kmc) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:14) 40 AP 07/26 18:23 EDT V0340 Copyright 1990. The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Brent Mydland, keyboard player for the rock band the Grateful Dead, was found dead in his home Thursday. He was 38. It was unclear when and how he died, said Sgt. Richard Terry of the Contra Costa County Coroner's office. "We lost a brother and we are very devastated," said Grateful Dead spokesman Dennis McNally. The 1960s counterculture band, known for such hits as "Casey Jones," and "Truckin'," retains a loyal cult following today. Fans -- known as "Deadheads" and including people who weren't born when the band first came to prominence -- follow the group from performance to performace. An autopsy on Mydland was scheduled for Friday morning. Friends apparently went to his home in Lafayette, a suburb 25 miles east of San Francisco, after being unable to contact Mydland, Terry said. He had returned Tuesday from New York City, where the band completed a three-week national tour, Terry said. Mydland wrote the well-known Grateful Dead tune "Far From Me," and more recently co-wrote the environmental ballad "We Can Run (But We Can't Hide)," which was used in an Audubon Society video. Mydland was born in Germany to American parents stationed there with the military and grew up in the San Francisco Bay area, McNally said. As a teen-ager, Mydland played with small local rock 'n' roll bands. He eventually made his name as the keyboard player with the 1970s rock band Silver. Mydland joined the Grateful Dead in April 1979 after a stint with rhythm guitarist and vocalist Bob Weir's side band Bobby and the Midnights. He replaced keyboardist Keith Godchaux. Most recently, he was known among Grateful Dead fans for his "I Will Take You Home," a lullaby written for his two daughters. He is survived by his wife, Lisa, and his daughters. ***** I too am logging on frequently and find it hard to talk to you all. 525, 47 of 343: Sean Kennedy (liam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:18) 1 Thank You For A Real Good Time! 525, 48 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:25) 6 God, I got home from work and went riding...was visiting ffriends when one came home with the news. I got here fast as I could to log in. God. I don't know what to say. Thoughts to his family.... 525, 49 of 343: Jeff Loomis (jal) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:28) 3 I guess that rules out the car accident rumors. "Maybe the sun is shining..." Sorry, I'm now dubbing RFK 7/12/90 and I can't type any faster. Every lyric seems so relevent. 525, 50 of 343: coyote lead mouse to lake...(dancing?) (jacstraw) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:28) 7 Brent's gone and nothin's gona bring him back. Remember the Grateful Dead is a Spirit - it goes on beyond anyone of us as individuals. Tom Constantin where are you? Can you fill in temporarily? Any other volunteers? 525, 51 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:32) 9 Back to the Blow Away rap from Irvine.....as Jerry and the band was vamping on the basic riff, Brent was sitting at his keyboard, eyes closed, his forehead vreased with tension....man, there was something he wanted to say. At the time, I just thought he was working up the words.....the more I think about it, I ssense the same struggle marye did. i was in the seond row at irvine that night and this memory is so vivid to me. at the end of the rap, brent seemed to have excorsied the demons....if only temporarily. 525, 52 of 343: Paul Hoffman (phoffman) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:35) 15 It is so sad. I must say, I'm not terribly surprized, but very, very sad. I think that the Brent-dies-what-do-we-do thought has rattled around this deadhead brain more often in the last few years, especially since Jerry recovered from his personal brush with death. Sometimes, after a show, I tried to come up with a feeling for each member of the band from that night's show. Often, Brent would be "vulnerable". I, too, wish the best for his family, especially his children. It could not have been easy to live with him, but it will certainly be hard to live without him. I hope they feel the long-distance support that they must be receiving from all over the country. And I hope his friends, especially the members of the Grateful Dead, can get what they can from the immediate experience and combine it with all that Brent gave them in the past and help turn the wheel one more time. 525, 53 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:37) 6 I can't believe it. I stopped to put on the 10/9 "Fantasy" and the number one thought in my mind is that Brent is one of the things that saved this band in the mid - '80s...and came back so strong as '90 rolled along... "Please don't be sad, it was a great life you had..." 525, 54 of 343: Richard Holborow (rch) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:40) 11 This is so sad. I got a call at work and I was shaking. Shock, complete shock. Ran in to hope the WELL would say it aint so. Everyine is hinting about drugs. Did he have a problem? I thought it was with alcohol... no matter, its a terrible loss, I know we all send our most heartfelt condolences to his family and the boyz... Wish there was more info here... 0-( 525, 55 of 343: Audrey Fine (audreyf) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:41) 9 i find myself logging back in here for the companionship of you all... we're just so incredibly sad :-( i keep getting the image of Brent and his little daughter on stage at MSG and start to cry... then i start to think of what a field day the anti-drug reporters will have with this (if that is in fact what happened) and, well, guess we'll deal with that if it happens.... god i'm gonna miss him... 525, 56 of 343: Kevin J. Malone (touch) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:45) 2 I heard from a friend that it was heroin. We're all going to miss you Brent. RIP 525, 57 of 343: John Penovich (redwood) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:50) 5 Unreal....I just can't believe it. The band and Brent seemed like they were on such a roll. They (and especially Brent) were finally getting the respect that they (and he) deserved for so long. I find myself flashing on the color and spirit that he brought to the music--and I keep thinking of all the times he made me smile. They were many.....more than I thought.... 525, 58 of 343: Ronald Albert Grondin (rag) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:52) 8 i'll never forget his playing on friend of the devil at providence, ri. in 1987 (9/9/87). that song was where i "got it". it was so sweet it made me cry. now id on't know if i'll ever be able to listen to that tape again. but it will always be in my memory. it's amazing hwo someone that you have never met can have such an effect on your feelings. 525, 59 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:54) 8 Folks, in sharing our sadness about this, could we keep the spreading of DRug Rumors out of it? I know everybody has a desire to know more and that rumors were flying around while he was alive, but to me the posting of what you've heard about his substance consumption feels even more like defaming a defenseless person. This is a suggestion, not an edict, but I feel weird about this stuff and honestly don't see what good it does anybody in this situation. 525, 60 of 343: beck (redwood) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:58) 4 The dead has been a constant (sometimes the only one) in so many people's lives. Now it's changed; death is final. Brent's absence will be greatly felt and a lot of people are grieving. Plus, I just have the dumbfounded realization that a man died today... 525, 61 of 343: Are We Really? (really) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (16:59) 6 I don't think it is fair at this point to go by heresay as to the cause of Brent's death. Let's wait for the Coroner's report tommorrow. It is sad indeed, but what is it about the piano player in this band? I heard Dennis McNally say this afternoon that we have all lost a family member. So we can all help each other in grief and sadness as any family would! We will get by! We will survive! 525, 62 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:06) 11 Dennis is right... The band can't be the same - he had a certain style that, at least to me, said "Grateful Dead." He was the reason I couldn't listen to Keith tapes for the longest time - to me the Brent Grateful Dead was the only Grateful Dead for almost 5 years. I guess all we can do is feel lucky that we had him for eleven years and treasure "Without A Net" in September as a lasting memorial to Brent. There are thousands of people in shock right now...I'm glad I have an outlet to vent the way I feel here. "Then I heard the sound of one child crying..." Echoes to really's comment - we _will_ survive. 525, 63 of 343: Be Kind To Your Mind (phred) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:08) 6 My friend Sharon reminded me how important it is to recognize the positive things Brent did and how he added to the mystery and magic at the core of the Grateful Dead experience -- and to acknowledge our part in that, too -- even as we express sorrow over what's happened. Let's keep it going . . . 525, 64 of 343: nothin' (moog) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:08) 15 About six months ago the lady who built our house (40 years ago) dropped in on us. With her was her "handyman", a young kid who noticed our GD posters and told us he was a good friend of Lisa's in school. I enjoyed talking to him because he gave a "Brent" side perspective on things I'd never heard. To my amazement he said that the rest of the band was getting tired and (perhaps just repeating a rumor) that they would be tapering off their live appearances after this year. He said that Brent was the guy with the most energy and ambition and that he would probably strike out on his own with his band when this happened. I tried to imagine this as he spoke but couldn't. Now the image returns and it is just a dream we dreamed so long ago. I am reminded of Bobby's crack that "we're pretty hard on keyboard players". What does this mean? I am sorry for the (what I hope was good-natured) ribbing of Brent for just a little lightness. I hope when I remember Brent I will lighten up. 525, 65 of 343: Bernie Bildman (bernbb) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:14) 4 He was as fine a person as I've met. Kind, thoughtful, always an open hand and a hug...no matter what your station was in life. Rest in peace 525, 66 of 343: Jon Green (jdg) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:15) 2 I don't have much to say. I only heard about an hour ago. I'm shocked, but not surprised. Bye Brent. We love you. We miss you. 525, 67 of 343: Glenn B. Gardner (gbg) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:15) 10 I didn't really believe any of this until I logged on here. Just got back from Chicago and was listening to the tapes in my car. During the show with "Dear Mr. Fantasy" my friend was making jokes on Brent's expression at certain lines of the song. I was laughing in my car when the tape came to that line today. Driving into my street "We Can Run" was playing and I was contemplating was a great song that was and how Brent was writing such good stuff these days and really evolving into one of the most creative and fueling forces within the DEAD. When I got to my steps the phone was ringing. I guess you all know how I felt after that phone call. Goodbye Brent and thankyou. 525, 68 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:15) 12 Story made CNN Headline News just now... The anchorlady pronounced his name "Meye-dland." Insignificant, yes, but also telling - what to me is a great loss isn't as much of a loss outside of our little world... I haven't felt this bad since my uncle died... I can't stop logging in for this topic... I don't understand why that bench has claimed so many. I do know that his voice is just as much of a loss as his playing, and like I said above, it was his playing that really made me a Deadhead. I need to raise a glass to Brent. "You can close your eyes, the world is going to let you..." 525, 69 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:17) 9 I remember the 20th Anniversary Press Conference. It was the beginning of the band's getting demythologized for me, because there was no way you could remain awestruck by a bunch of middle-aged guys who were acting like bad and very funny little kids who didn't want to go to Sunday School. Which is about where press conferences fall on the fun scale for them, I suspect. Brent was late. He was getting teased a lot. They called him "Brentski." It was silly and fun. 525, 70 of 343: Shirley Sager Hatten (ssh) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:25) 25 I'm sitting here reading the messages and brushing the tears from my eyes so I can read the postings. Brent's death strikes home to me even more now that I am involved with my band and know each of my guys on a personal level. Band families are so close that losing even one member of the family is like losing part of yourself. I can just imagine what the Dead are going through. Joe Colella, one of the guitar players in the Worm Farm Band once said to me]^[Othat musicians "fall in love with" their band brothers (or sisters) music and] it is just like any other love relationship and that it is devestating to think "What if they don't want to play with me any more" just like any other relationship that might end. When someone in a band dies, it is like the death of a lover or a spouse and is just as devestating since there is never again the possibility that they will ever play with you again. So my heart goes out to the members of the Band as well as to Brent's family since they are also Brent's family as we all are. By the way, if anyone feels the need to gather together with other Deadheads tonight, my band is playing at the Full Moon Saloon in the Haight. I'm not saying this to pitch the band but because I was at Ventura when Jerry got sick and I remember how all of us there refused to be separated for the entire three days, first staying in the parking lot all day, then going up to Rose Valley, a compground in the Ojai hills and finally going to Isla Vista where two bands played every day for three days. Two of my guys were in one of the bands, Slipknot, and helped us all bear the pain and anxiety over Jerry. So if anyone's interested, we will be there tonight. :( 525, 71 of 343: kevin mccormick (kmc) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:27) 10 I'm glad i'm able to read and share with you. I've spent most of my time at home since the news with my wife and daughter and feel somewhat better. Funny how kids can sense what is wrong and Melissa really wanted to see a picture of Brent. She looked very sad when she looked at it. I'm now anxiously awaiting my son's return from his buddies house so I can spent some time with him too.. Life is so fragile. It's a shame an event like this serves to remind me this. Thanks for Everthing Brent ... Til Later... 525, 72 of 343: Dan Rubin (djr) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:30) 9 I feel a loss. And I wish it weren't so, but the image of Brent that keeps appearing in my mind is not a happy one. During the last Shoreline run, the vibes I got from Brent were those of a very, very unhappy person. And yet, I also remember revelling in the magnificent fills he was doing on the organ during Big Boss Man on Saturday night of that same run. The man sure could play! 525, 73 of 343: Ward A. Frost (faw) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:33) 1 Brent, rest in peace, we love you! 525, 74 of 343: Rob Diamond (diamond) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:38) 2 K-ROCK in NYC is spending this hour airing phone calls from listeners and playing some of Brent's & the Dead's music. Very nice. 525, 75 of 343: Charlie DiSalvo (cosmiccd) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:40) 5 I can tell everyone out there that Brent had some big shoes to fill not just Keith or Pigpen ,but just being the keyboard player for GD a big job indeed!! I my self feel pressure in the job I have and its real hard to live up to expections sometimes. I go home and have a little bit of grog and it takes a little bit of the pain away. But I don't know what the answers are . 525, 76 of 343: Richard Holborow (rch) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:41) 6 A friend of mine who was at Shoreline also said Brent seemed troubled, and that the Blow away rap was seemingly full of pain...anyone else get those vibes? Goodbye, Brent. We love you and will forever miss you. 525, 77 of 343: Bob Bickford (rab) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:44) 17 My perspective: Almost all of my favorite Dead songs are Brent's. I like most everything, but his all stand out for me. "We can run..." and "I'll take you home" both make me cry................................................ On those occasions when I was working backstage (BGP 'bluecoats' security) (usually I'd be out front, in the aisles or at front-of-stage or something) I always liked having a more-or-less legitimate reason to speak with the band members (and of course my friends in the crew, especially Dan). Of course, they have a million more important things to do than say anything to the security folk; but over the last three years I've been able to exchange a few words with each (except Phil, for some reason). Unaccountably, Brent stands out for me. I can't recall what he said, but I do remember that it was kind and that he shook hands. 525, 78 of 343: Greta C. Bickford (gcb) (rab) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:56) 25 I got home a short while ago and got a message from a friend asking if we knew anything. That was the first I heard. Brent, to me, was THE keyboard player for the Dead. I first saw the Dead in 1979, only a short while after he joined them. I can't, at this point, even imagine anybody else in his spot. I remember the first time I heard them do "I Will Take You Home", and just being blown away completely. It was so tender, so beautiful. It has been one of my favorite Dead tunes since then. I remember thinking, years gone back, what a great bluesy voice Brent had, and how he poured his heart out into his music and vocals, never holding back his pain just to make smooth music; and how that added to the depth and power of his music every time. Sure, he had off nights; everybody does. But his was the voice of a soul unwilling to hide behind easy ways out and just play the notes without any feeling. I remember 1982, when I met all of the Dead in an airport diner in Okla- homa. I remember in particular Brent's friendliness and warmth. I ache for Lisa and for their daughter. 525, 79 of 343: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (17:58) 5 slow tears come unbidden an empty spot in my heart won't be filled farewell Brent and it's so good to be with members of my family in this virtual place 525, 80 of 343: Kaki Dipinto (kaki) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:02) 2 Don't know what to say. The band sure sounded great at the World this week. . . . comfort the spirit . . . 525, 81 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:12) 16 I was driving home from work this afternoon. It was a dark, cloudy and somewhat misty day in Hawaii. I tried to relate this to when Jerry went down. Now, I have the well to gather information and to be with friends.....i did not have the well back then. We also had a chance to chare in Jerry's revival and the comeback Touch of Grey in December of that year. Alas, we will not have that opportunity with Brent. Whether the band goes on or not right now is not know, sometime, somewhere, I would hope for amemorial concert to be held for Brent so we can all say goodbye to him with what Brent did the best...playing music. I'll miss you Mr. Fantasy Man....whenever I hear Hey Jude I'll remember how happy you made *me* feel! 525, 82 of 343: Richard Holborow (rch) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:13) 4 There is nothing to say. Im taking a few tapes and going to sit and watch the ocean, and try to comfort mine and a few other spirits. I wonder when we will get some kind of official word.... 525, 83 of 343: Harold Worwetz Jr. (slipknot) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:18) 11 You know, it took awhile to accept you after Keith left and I didn't think you could ever replace him. Over the years I grew to accept respect and love your approach to the band. YOU changed the band and made it better. You were human and as we all are you had your faults you had your problems. I'm sorry that I'll never get to tell you how much I loved you and your music. Maybe a little bit more of that would have made life a bit easier to deal with. Most of all I'm sorry as a father that someone will have to tell your daughters that daddy won't ever be able to hold you again. You had it all buddy, God, I'm truly sorry it wasn't enough. Truly sorry! 525, 84 of 343: Marc Young (columbia) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:21) 12 It took me years to appreciate Brent's talents. It wasn't really until this last east coast spring tour that I began to look forward to hearing his tunes in the way I did the rest of the band's. Then at the Cap Center he did several nights including a Blow Away that rocked me to my toes, and I was sold. His strengths as a musician and performer were just coming into full flower over the past year. When Pigpen died I automatically knew that the appropriate response was a balls-out blues celebration of his life. But today I don't know what to do with my grief - though a party sure ain't it. In a band with a typically ironic stance Brent was unafraid to wear his heart on his sleeve, and over the years he made me learn to like him for it. Goodbye, Mr. Fantasy. 525, 85 of 343: Josh Comay (fatman) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:23) 2 I'm so torn, I don't know whether or not to leave a response. I just feel so empty and numbed. 525, 86 of 343: Philippe Habib (phabib) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:25) 11 I heard on the news as I was driving home. I had to log on and be with my Deadhead family. I'm crying as I write this. There's really nothing that I can add. Like Dan, I wondered about future shows. Selfish, I know. I felt wrong about it as soon as the thought popped into my head. A man has died and the grief felt by his family is bigger than any loss I might have by only having enjoyed his presence in the band for a couple of years. I hope you are in a place where you can jam without end. I know time seemed to stop when you did it here. 525, 87 of 343: Harvey S. Lubar (hlubar) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:36) 7 Not to get too philosophical, but for me death has always meant "change". I hopeand pray that Brent has found peace where ever he may be. Everyone here in New York City is numbed by his passing and for his family, friends, fans and well wishers. they (we) should think well of him as he can probably pick up on our good thoughts. Peace be with you Brent....... ^?{ 525, 88 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:41) 21 The thought that fills my head right now is Alpine 6/22/88... That was the night he unveiled "I Will Take You Home." The crowd got real quiet, and it seemed that everyone was involved in this quiet, slow, beautiful lullabye. I'll treasure that forever. I have to admit that the first thoughts through my head, after the initial disbelief, was also one about "what would happen to the band." His voice, his dancing fingers, his jumping around on the bench... those filled in as that initial tide ran out, and I knew that I had to get home and log in. To be with my Dead family. Even my mom expressed disbelief when she called just now, and she's just starting to understand what this band means to me. How old are the girls? My life followed a similar course at the age of eight. My deepest thoughts go out to them, and to Lisa. I was just looking at the "Family Album" photos of her and one of the kids...I came close to breaking down. I can't say much more... 525, 89 of 343: Jon Green (jdg) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:42) 2 Just saw a blurb on CNN Headline News. Still mispronouncing his name. I'm still speechless. I don't even feel like cursing. 525, 90 of 343: Howard Levine (hll) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:44) 1 It hurts me too 525, 91 of 343: ERIC TELINGATOR (et) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (18:51) 3 So much to say but no words will express it. It does hurt. I cannot compose myself to go further. I will miss you Brent. Bright and strong WELLbeams to all of you and his family. I'll try again later. 525, 92 of 343: Bob Ulius (rebop) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:04) 10 I'm equally at a loss for words. Brent was the only keyboard player I have ever seen with the Dead, having caught a late bus. It will never be the same, but I hope they find the strength to go on. This is the last time I'm gonna say so long....... Peace Brent. 525, 93 of 343: Scott and Leslie Goldberg (amdew) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:08) 9 I picked an interesting time to log on for the 1st...Just about 10 days ago. Now it's one of the only ways to deal with something that's almost unthinkable. It's been a few hours since I found out and it's just starting to sink in, and I feel for his family, our band, all of us-but mostly for Brent himself.. It seems like it's going to be a sadder story than I thought. I'm sort of bracing for the worst...if it get's any worse. We've all lost someone and something very special that only we will understand.. ., 525, 94 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:10) 4 A lot of times in grief, the best thing to do is something you are good at, something that numbs the pain. The dead play music, music is theraputic. Once the shock wears off, I wish every member of the GD organization, best of luck, in these trying times. 525, 95 of 343: Kevin J. Moran (kjm) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:11) 1 what dam said (94). in a word, unfuckingbelievable. Rest in peace, Brent. 525, 96 of 343: kevin mccormick (kmc) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:22) 3 The local station just did I will Take You Home - He's Gone - China Doll and We can Run. I'm so devestated... still shocked. I love the songs but I am getting different emotions from them now. 525, 97 of 343: Sam Whitmore (brahoods) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:46) 16 Yeah, no one seemed to be able to pronounce his name correctly. Even Arista, in the boxed CD reissue around the time of In the Dark, mispelled his name (Midland) *on his photo*! The error is bad enough, but worse when you pause to consider the decade Brent spent trying to prove he wasn't just "the new guy." When he was with the band Silver he wrote a song called "Musician (It's a Hard Life)". It told of how difficult it is to write original songs and play in obscurity for people that don't appreciate you. Kind of like Creedence's "Lodi," only poetic. You know he wore out all his Allman Brothers Band records....came on the scene looking like Gregg, and wailing on the organ just like he did, only better. You done good, Brent. You gave the Grateful Dead a ten-year-long kick in the pants. You were an inspiration in every way. God bless you. 525, 98 of 343: Madeline Wade (silivill) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:48) 7 I sorta grew up with Brent in the band - I was listening to Blow Away this morning - the one with the rap and tears were coming down my face because it is so powerful and I was thinking I sure hope he does it at Shoreline. I like to think he just dropped his body,he will never be gone. I can see those eyes now and the way he used to look at Jerry and smile. 525, 99 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:52) 13 I'm listening to the Shoreline Blow Away right now. My eyes are welling up. It's hard to tell from this tape if there's a difference in his voice, or anything like that, but... I never thought about him looking like Gregg. (97) You're right. He did. And he could do a lot more on the organ than Gregg. Or anyone else I've heard, for that matter. (well, maybe not Jimmy Smith.) And the other keys he played...he brought the band into the forefront of the technology with his synths and his MIDI. He was the only guy I ever saw on that bench. God, two weeks ago tonight I was posting every ten seconds about my Dark Star, and now one of the people who created it is gone. Amazing. "...and leave it on!" 525, 100 of 343: Pseudable (wlagirl) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:55) 7 When I think of Brent I think of his feet during the Irvine "blow away." I was standing eye-level with his feet in the second row, and he kept WHAM! stomping on the pedals WHAM! WHAM! with such a terrific force. it seems like all his energy was starting in his middle, and then working it's way down his legs into his feet and up and out his mouth at the same time. fare you well... 525, 101 of 343: Dorothy (cpcobb) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (19:59) 5 We never did hear "Blow Away" live. 8-( Like a steam locomotive, rolling down the track . . . Our love & condolences to his family & the rest of the family. 525, 102 of 343: karen winik (sylvio) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:03) 6 I havent logged on in 6 months or so.. and felt the need to. I am numb, saddended, and very freaked out. I remember when I used to hang out with the band back in '81 and '82 and Weir always used to tell Brent he was "in the Hot Seat".. how totally weird and VERY sad. I, for one of the first times, out of words. 525, 103 of 343: Pete Browning (sneaky) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:21) 7 Ihave been in shock for the past 5 hours or so, and just now am starting to feel a deep sense of loss. And I knew him from so far away. I just want wish his family and friends strength and I pray for Brent, wherever he may be. It is unbelievable that 3 days ago was the 10th anniversary of Keith's death. 525, 104 of 343: Bob Ulius (rebop) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:31) 2 Anyone want to go over to the Kaiser and light some candles? 525, 105 of 343: Paul Stevens (pstevens) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:35) 14 My heart goes out to Brent's family, the Dead and all of you. I feel so sorry for all the people he left behind. It all seems so senseless. I feel bad for all the times I've been critical of Brent, without empathy for the pain he must have felt. There were those times when he seemed to be fighting with something within himself. And then those times when he just shined. I remember a Shoreline run (last fall?) when the did a fantastic "Just a Little Light" with the band rallying behind him to a powerful finish. As the audience applause rose and I was beating my hands together in approval I thought "There, see Brent, we love you. You're really part of it". I looked up and Jerry was beaming, first at us and then at Brent as if also to say "See, SEE!". Damn. Why? 525, 106 of 343: Michael L. Fasman (mlf) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:37) 4 I'm listening to Brents first show in San Jose and can't say any more than all my friends already have. Going down the road feeling bad...... 525, 107 of 343: paul fichera (because) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:40) 4 this is horrible. just horrible. rest in peace 525, 108 of 343: (jb) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:41) 1 Rest in Peace. Thank you. 525, 109 of 343: bob (dawg) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:43) 7 ...Don't have no Mercy. Bye Brent, I'm saddened by your passing. Love to those who were closest to you. 525, 110 of 343: Ronald Albert Grondin (rag) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:53) 14 so many smiles, so many "oh my god's" "i didn't know a person could make music like that". heck he turned me around so many times i'd get dizzy at shows. i've always been impressed by keyboard players, but brent did things that i really was ammazed by. it's time to look to the future, i think. it's also time to be *REAL* happy for what we had. a terrific person, pouring out terriffic feelings and music for us. thank you. 525, 111 of 343: Rob Diamond (diamond) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (20:55) 7 Just thinking about those times when Brent would just light a song on fire... out of the blue. He was able to inject a huge amount of energy into the band when he wanted to. It's beginning to sink in now.. I'm really sad. My boss called to see how I'm taking the news. In the strangest of places. 525, 112 of 343: Al E. (mudshark) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (21:02) 5 just aborted another attempt to express my feelings. He gave us so much to praise and so much to remember that I'm having a lot of trouble here. I think I'll try again later. It's helps me to know that you are gonna be here when I can hanndle it. thanks 525, 113 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (21:06) 10 Brent, I may have made fun of your toy box, but you always gave us your soul when you played, whether it was the dark side or the light side. My musical worldhas a void in it now because you are gon. All I can say is thank god for the tapes, lord have mercy for the tapes! I played the Irvine Blow Away this afternoon. I cried and cried and cried though the whole thing.....thanks for the memories of that night... and countless others. 525, 114 of 343: Jeff Steinwedel (jeffs) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (21:16) 13 I'm very sad. Don't know what to say. Heard Blair Jackson on KCBS saying he thought the tour would go on. I don't know... but if the Grateful Dead does go on, they should play the first show with Brent's keys set up and an empty bench. Like the empty horse in a military funeral. Whether the band returns or not it seems like a good idea to have a memorial of some sort that can be the focal point of our grief. Right now it just seems crazy to even think about enjoying a show again. For the first time, it hurts just to say "Grateful Dead." 525, 115 of 343: Gregg Lustig (glsk) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (21:16) 2 Goodbye Brent, your music has meant so much to me these last 11 years. My heart goes out to your family. Rest in Peace. 525, 116 of 343: Sean Kennedy (liam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (21:18) 12 I apologize for the typos, I have a bottle of Black Bush in one hand and keybboard in the other. The last time I cried and the last time I punched someone were approximately the same time and both were long ago. Tonight I came as close to both as ever. I took the train at about midnight and the people infront of me were joking about Brent, I don't know if they knew, but I had two urges, one was to wail my head off in this car in the middle of town, the other to stand up and rip this guy's head off... It's hard to pin this emotion down, its more real than any I have felt with my family, given they are 3000 miles away, many of them. It hurts me more than other deaths. GOODBYE DEAR FRIEND! 525, 117 of 343: Richard H. Petlock (dupree) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (21:25) 5 I just got through to the West Coast Hotline: The following is a statement from the band: We regretfully confirm the death of our fellow band member Brent Mydland. We have lost a brother in music, and we grieve for him and his family. 525, 118 of 343: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (21:40) 3 May the night bring my whole family here, peace. Good night friends. Good night Brent. 525, 119 of 343: john button (jmb) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (22:03) 18 I couldn't believe it was true when I heard the news - I came to the Well to see, it was like asking my family. And when it was confirmed, I felt so sad, I wanted to say something, but what could I say? I found that I was feeling like I did when my mother died, a member of my family was gone and there was nothing I could say or do for her. And then I realized how I felt about losing Brent, he was a member of my family, like you & so many of the Dead's followers are, and all I can do is try & help the rest of my family weather the lose. I find that reading these messages has helped me come closer to our family and given me a little more strength to carry on and that is as much as anyone can hope for in times like these. Brent, like Pig, Keith, and others will live on in the spirit and the music. 525, 120 of 343: Dorothy (cpcobb) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (22:07) 1 This still doesn't even seem real. 525, 121 of 343: david dodd (asterix) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (22:13) 8 Did anybody see the show a few years back at the Berkeley Community Theater where Brent stubbornly stayed on stage during the drumz and played a wrenching numb number -- completely changed the format of the show for that one night. I saw his first show at Spartan Stadium and remember Phil pointing at him in delight during the very first number--Jack Straw--which is great on the tapes-- one of the best Jack Straws, I think. IUll miss all that energy. 525, 122 of 343: Pseudable (wlagirl) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (22:19) 4 It doesnt seem real to me at all, but then when I see a newsclip, with brent playing, and the crowd dancing - I get all numb and chilled again. There were so many times when i told myself that Brent held the key to the engine. He could start the band up like no one else. 525, 123 of 343: Catherine Dunford (dcat) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (22:28) 2 I'm as blown away as the next person, and yet not surprised. But really saddened. May you fare well, Brent, in peace and love. 525, 124 of 343: Sean Kennedy (liam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (22:28) 3 I am not at home right now, but if someone has the text to Peterson's "He was a friend of mine" I would like it right now, please post it or email me with it, THANKS! 525, 125 of 343: Benefit of the Doubt (alc) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (22:36) 33 first time i saw brent was dec 1979, at kiel aud in st. louis. living in missouri, i got one, maybe two dead shows a year. anyway, i checked them out whenever they came around, and had a couple friends i traded tapes with, but i had nothing like the obsession with *knowing* that much about the band or what was happening with them. anyway, we had shitty seats, waaay up in the nosebleed seats, and they were waaay down there. the first thing i noticed was no donna. then i could tell there was someone different on the keyboards. borrowing a pair of binocs i checked him out. not much to notice, really at 3000 yards . . . about halfway through the first set they played a new song. very catchy, upbeat, punchy. the sound in the kiel kavern was horrid, but i picked up up on the chorus hook, and by the end of the song everybody was singing along, "you don't know how easy it is, you don't know how easy it is to love you." a few weeks ago, i got all high on the grateful dead at sacramento. hot dear mr. fantasy and great comradeship and a minor adventure got me back on the bus. so i mentioned on line, and dan rubin let me know he had a couple extras for the sunday shoreline show. i checked with the queen o' lambada, and we were off to the dead show. it was her second, the first being last new year's. anyway, i got into it, dancing and singing along and letting out little bobby mating calls, and grooving on seeing friends. they went into easy to love you, and i was just so filled up with the joy of that moment, i took marsha in my arms and sang it to her along with brent. it was a very special moment for us, and that's what i want to remember about brent. he gave me that moment over ten years ago, and he gave it to me again just recently. i know a lot of people who thought that song was real lame, not a "real" grateful dead song, and all that. it's one of those songs that mark high tides in my life. it will not be easily forgotten. nor will brent mydland. 525, 126 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (23:07) 1 Right now my stereo is silent......it's hard to listen to gd music right now. 525, 127 of 343: William C. Crum (casady) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (23:11) 15 I was at Brent's first show, too, when he was on Phil's side. I'd forgotten. What I was thinking about was how I drove all day andmost of the night from Oregon to get to Laguna Seca for a Sunday show. My wife was pregnant with our son, and I broke away for that one show. I parked way out on the road and walked in; everybody'd been there three days already, it was the middle of the night. I hung out way in back with a friend and his son 'til they left during Birdsong at the end of the first set. Then I went down front with other friends. That was the first time I ever heard I will take you home. With Jared on the way and everything the way it was, it just swept over me. I broke out in tears. Now I hold my son and he holds me and we listen to it on the disc. Like somebody else said, I grieve for Brent's children and how mom's got to tell them daddy won't be there to hold them anymore. That's my Brent story. Happy trails my friend. D 525, 128 of 343: Lenny Bailes (jroe) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (23:45) 7 I never met Brent, but I'll always remember him in Franken & Davis' video from the Warfield Shows in 1980 -- "Come on Brent, let's see you play St. Stephen." Soaring organ in Mr. Fantasy and the spirit of rock n' roll in Hey Pockey Way. And his voice will always be there in the harmony for "To Lay Me Down." I'll think of him when I hear that song. 525, 129 of 343: William W. Squire (billsf) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (23:49) 26 I am a deadhead who appreciates the raw "jerry/bobby" sound of the band and I didn't appreciate brent's sound at first. My view changed on one very special evening at the HJK in '87. Out of space came a "dear mr fantasy" that reached the spine of many of the heads at that show. It was one of those moments at a greatful dead concert that set it apart from any other experience available to an earthling. brent's voice, unlike jerry or bob, had that tough "bob seger" edge that gave so much power to the greatful dead dead's already powerful delivery. I'm sorry that I feel that Brent's performance at the recent Shorline shows made me feel sad, because i could really tell that something was wrong. His voice was very hoarse, but there was real soul in his performance. It was as if he was singing to himself as opposed to an audience that paid for seats. I almost feel obliged to mention ( like many already have ) that I'm spooked with the greatful dead's omen with their keyboard players. All other musicians in the band have lasted through their long strange trips... It just doesn't make sense rationally... We can't bring him back so we must take one another by the hand and go on with brent always in our hearts.... let's face it folks all included .. . there would be no greatful dead as we know it without brent ..........................It's hard to face that open space you're looking for peace of mind - Neil Young may your soul RIP...... the void man 525, 130 of 343: Catherine Dunford (dcat) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (23:49) 82 He was a Friend of Mine weird how it goes with beginnings & endings again this year winter's over end of the loco months new green appearing everywhere sweet lunacy birds & blue skies eternal snows glutting the rivers brown with earth whales starting north with precious young & pigpen died my eyes tequila-ortured 4 days mourning lost another fragment of my own self knowing the same brutal night-sweats & hungers he knew the same cold fist that knocked him down now clutching furiously at my gut shut my eyes & see him standing spread-legged on the stage of the world the boys prodding him egging him on he telling all he ever knew or cared to know mike hand cocked like a boxer's head throwed back stale whiskey blues many-peopled desolations neon rainy streets & wilderness of airports thousands maybe millions loved him were fired instantly into forty-five minutes of midnight hour but when he died he was thin, sick, scared alone like i said to lair i just hope he didn't hurt too much weird all these endings & beginnings pale voices of winter faces, rivers, birds, songs lunacies i wonder how many seasons new green coming once more to the land fresh winds turn bending the long grasses we'll hear him sing again --Robert M. Petersen 525, 131 of 343: alien (man) Thu, Jul 26, 1990 (23:54) 20 Brent, I wish you'd had someone to take you home.... (or maybe you did) Guess there's nothing left to do but (try to) smile, smile, smile...... (sob) 525, 132 of 343: John Perry Barlow (barlow) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (00:00) 4 The number of entries here...and their tangle-hearted contents...First thing I've felt good about since 10:00 this morning. God bless you all for caring so much. I wish he could have known you did. 525, 133 of 343: Al E. (mudshark) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (00:02) 1 I'd like to think he knew. 525, 134 of 343: William W. Squire (billsf) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (00:21) 12 When an important musician passes away, people will mourn over the loss, but but perhaps our mourning will be felt in good ways also. Being deadheads we know sadness is emotion and emotion is the best raw fuel for producing art that moves the world. If the greatful dead has ever moved my soul ( which we all know damn well it has ) then brent has moved it also..... I just keep hearing that sweet, sweet leslie of yours whirring away at the Greek Theatre ( Not Fade Away Greek '88, one of the "regulars" i play ) and I am compelled to thank you Brent Mydland for giving my ears the pleasure of your musicianship. I will keep listening to your tapes for...... My sadness goes out to the family and the band... you all must be quite broken with the loss. Let us all pray for the "whole" family......the void man 525, 135 of 343: Sile Garathorn (sile) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (00:27) 15 I first heard about it when I got to jll's this afternoon..I didn't know what to think or do..this has turned into a very bad week for me..first I lose a member of my family in my home, then I lose a member of my family in his home, so far away...I just feel so numb and empty..I try to think and be glad about the good times there were, but I just can't see through the grief..I just wonder when I'll be able to feel again.. I have been reading the postings over other people's shoulders, and just logged onto the well with my account and went through all the postings again..maybe I'll be able to figure out what I'm feeling later, but comprension just won't come right now..:-( "If the thunder don't get you, then the lightning will.." Be at peace Brent, we all love you.. 525, 136 of 343: Jeff Moskovitz (mosk) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (00:33) 3 God bless you, Brent, and your family. Thank you for making my life more enjoyable. I will miss you. 525, 137 of 343: Al E. (mudshark) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (00:47) 13 I saw Brent play the drums once. halloween '86 at the Capitol in Passaic. Acoustic Tuna opened for Go Ahead. Come to think of it I saw Brent do, what I was later told, his first show with Bob Weir--The Bob Weir Band at SDSU in '78, ( I think it was '78--long before the midnites). At his first show with the Dead in S.J. I remember telling anyone who would listen that "this kid will be great in five years." And five years later at the '84 BCT run and ever since he's been more integral than many of us cared to believe. I wonder if, had Brent not been there to lend his harmonies and spark up the vocals, Phil would have started singing again. I wish that for all the times over all the years that I cried out "DO ONE PHIL" that I had once cried out for Brent. I'm cryin out for him now. 525, 138 of 343: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (03:30) 6 a dozen-plus hours later morning is breaking in Boston as is my heart the tears won't stop i thought it would be easier today it's not 525, 139 of 343: Audrey Fine (audreyf) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (04:52) 10 awakening this morning with dampened eyes my first thought was...thank gopod, it was a dream, then the news came on the radio again... work is gonna be hard today because people out there just don't realize what a family feeling we all have for the band and for each other... i'll always cherish the incredible musical memories Brent gave me, and left me on tape...gopod help me i'll never take it for granted again (which is pretty much what i did by not going to Chicago, "knowing" what was ahead in September)... 525, 140 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (05:21) 12 I could barely sleep last night - kept waking up with visions and music in my head, and I guess that allowed it to sink in. I agree with Audrey. Like I said above, they just don't understand. "He Was A Friend of Mine" really fits this time as well as it did 17 years ago. It's as if Bobby knew. A wailing "Fantasy," a rockin' "Gimme Some Lovin," or a mellow "Black Peter," Brent would rise to the occasion. Even "Victim." I keep harping on this but it seems like he was the glue that held them together around '84...and the catalyst once the engines revved up again. You will be missed, friend. 525, 141 of 343: kevin mccormick (kmc) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (05:35) 2 Brent has been with my thoughts all night and It will be tough to get thru the day. Still so sad. 525, 142 of 343: Jon Green (jdg) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (05:41) 3 Reality finally set in this morning. Yesterday was kind of a blur. I'm going to drive with my headlight on in remembrance of Brent until he's laid to rest. 525, 143 of 343: John F. Whitehead (jfw) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (06:15) 8 I had a dream last night that a close friend of mine died. It was a personal friend, but no doubt that Brent's personality was overlapped upon my friend's for the purposes of my subconcious sorting-out processes. ...it's still kind of hard to talk... I appreciate this format because I can assimilate it at my own speed. Easier than talking and not knowing what to say. 525, 144 of 343: Jeff Loomis (jal) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (08:48) 3 Last night I ate a late dinner at Edie's in the Marina with an old (non Deadhead) friend I hadn't seen in a long time. The jukebox played "Gimme Some Lovin'" then "Louie Louie". Can't get away from it. 525, 145 of 343: Nicholas A. Holmes (naholmes) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (09:06) 2 They are playing Foolish Heart aat this moment on WCXR. played Box of Rain before that. 525, 146 of 343: Dan Rubin (djr) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (09:08) 5 Well intentioned, but unclear on the concept, no? Ditto KRQR yesterday afternoon, whose memorial included Truckin' from Europe '72. Appreciated nonetheless. 525, 147 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (09:09) 4 I was thinking this morning about the first Gimme Some Lovin' at the BCT, and the way Phil and Brent looked at each other. It was as if they'd been keeping this thing a secret for longer than they could stand and here it was, wonderful, zits and all. 525, 148 of 343: Bob Deyoung (bdy) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (09:09) 3 Good bye, Brent You know our love will not fade away.... 525, 149 of 343: bones (flash) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (09:14) 4 as an amateur keyboarder, myself, the evolution of brent's role with the band was inspiring to me. i feel sadder now than words can say. 525, 150 of 343: Paul Hoffman (phoffman) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (09:42) 5 Thank gopod for tapes. If there is one way in which Brent touched all of us here and many, many of our friends, it was with his music. Wherever he is or isn't, I hope he appreciates himself as much as we have and as much as we will as we replay what has been saved of those wonderful moments he helped us enjoy. 525, 151 of 343: Bethellen Levitan (beth) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (09:50) 13 I just got out of the hospital and have been dealing heavily with the closeness of death and the preciousness of ife - the things we say and what it means to realize them. Really realize. David said'last night ththat Brent didnt know how good he was, or how much we loved him. I can hardly write this. He held my heart at every show. Ive been thinking of how to memorialize him, someritual to make this real, but for now I guess tears are the apropriate response, and time will make a new kind of space for Brent for us all. I too like to think that he's left his body but he's still there in the mist in the air all around. Always found. Brent we love you so. I hope you did know it. 525, 152 of 343: coyote lead mouse to lake...(dancing?) (jacstraw) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (10:14) 21 I had to grieve all yesterday afternoon and evening: burn incense and keep a candle burning by a picture of Brent; maintain a vigil to mark the passing of a great spirit. One year at a New Year's run, I spent the whole time up in the stands with a small pair of field glasses studying the band: their facial expressions, manner of gesture, interactions with each other, etc. I remember being particularly struck by the eye contact Brent continually made with the rest of the band - the feeling of sensitivity in those eyes. The soulful eyes of a shy Deer creature, bespeaking unspoken wonders of innocence, vulnerability and trust. Surly the whole psychedelic world must morn the passing of a great and truly sensitive individual who taught the rest of us so much about the expression of the psychedelic in music. Indeed! Good-bye Brent. I'll miss you! (Sob....) 525, 153 of 343: Be Kind To Your Mind (phred) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (10:52) 15 I mentioned the 10/3/87 Bird Song before, so when I started to listen to that tape last night, it turns out the first tune from that show was Hey Pocky Way -- not one that we'd generally consider a "Brent tune" but one that definitely was. I remember how great I thought it would be when we first heard on the West coast that the band had started playing that one. Hey Pocky Way has a special place in my heart because of the absolutely amazing Wild Tchoupitoulas version (really the Nevilles plus the Mardi Gras Indians including George Landry) which I first heard in late 1980 and very distinctly remember even now. A great funky anthem. Brent made that tune his, too, and it is a Big Win; think of all the great Hey Pocky Way performances we've had since 1987. He added real zest to that tune and pushed the band into a bouncing groove that is some of my favorite Dead playing. 525, 154 of 343: Leslie (amdew) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (10:56) 5 John, the clouds are surrounding me in Boston today too. I also though today would be easier... But it's not. The shock is wearing off and the pain is sinking in...My heart is aching and it looks like rain.... 525, 155 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (10:57) 3 Eileen Law at the GD office suggested contributions in Brent's memory to the Audobon Society; "We Can Run" was given to Audobon for a special video. Eileen is getting me the address, and I'll pass it along. 525, 156 of 343: 2 LLW 095 (merrill) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:02) 40 When I first saw and fell in love with the Dead, Tom Constanten was playing keyboards. I though it was neat that they had two different keyboard players who could switch around. I didn't know about Pigpen's health problems. Next time I saw them, Pigpen was playing, and man could he raise the energy. They played straight through for hours without any breaks in the music. Pigpen shouted into the mikes the whole night, like a rider whipping a horse. Later on, after Tom quit playing for the band, I felt like it must be a great strain to stay with the Dead, as if that position was difficult, too vulnerable, even dangerous. I never clicked with Keith. I saw the Dead again in 1982 a few years after Brent joined the band. I wondered who he was and was struck by his youth and energy. I though it must be very difficult to try to integrate with the rest of the band, since so many previous bonding experiences could never be shared. But as I saw him develop, I was amazed at how well he fit, and how much he added to the gestalt. He was like Pigpen in many ways--rough, raw, strong, full of talent--although not as sure of himself as Pigpen was. I remember shows where he was pushing and shoving the band to go higher and further, pumping all his energy into the system, as if the new kid on the block had what it took when the old guys were dragging their heels. He knew what Dead jamming was all about and seemed ready to take it a little further than it had gone before. His playing added such rich texture and color to the music. There seemed to hang around him the stigma of not being part of the original band, yet I also felt like the future of the band lay with him. I have fantasized that the various members could be replaced over time, as they retired, by younger musicians who would carry the torch, thus creating a lineage of sorts. Brent seemed to have that ability. You sure could rock, man. If it was a straight line you had We wouldn't have known you all these years 525, 157 of 343: Scott and Leslie Goldberg (amdew) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:02) 4 I heard rumor this morning about a brain aneurism..."no drugs suspected." Does any body know anything...I wonder...does that make it any better? or any worse? 525, 158 of 343: Richard Holborow (rch) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:10) 19 He's Gone, and it doesn't matter why. Our hearts are all broken. We will miss him forever. He can not be replaced. The fire that he put into the band was wonderful. Ill forever miss digging the looks between him and Jer. The Leslies whirling and whirling faster and faster, the "kid" taking the boyz and kickin' em in the butt, pushing it up a few notches, the voice, the best in the band, will leave holes in almost all songs, his trademark raspy-bluesy style- He was into it. I woke today still not wanting to accept it. Hearing tapes is wierd right now. God bless you Brent, and God watch over his family. and ours. 525, 159 of 343: Jon Green (jdg) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:18) 2 Autopsy results won't be available few a few days (maybe a week). Any rumors cannot possibly have substance right now. We'll find out then. 525, 160 of 343: Audrey Fine (audreyf) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:26) 12 Dennis McNally was interviewed an hour or so ago on WMMR and he said that "until he hears different from the band, he is going on the assumption that the shows go on, next scheduled at Shoreline Aug. 31...". it's so soon, i don't know, i guess Dennis had to answer the DJ's question somehow... hard to even think aboutt it for me right now, but i guess it _is_ a business, after all, and they have hard decisions to make _now_..... my heart aches for the band members to have to make that decision so fast.... not that i have any doubts that the band would continue, just that Aug. 31 is only 4 weeks away... 525, 161 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:26) 2 So let's not let our fears and theories run rampant, okay? I'd like to be able to pass this topic along to the band and to Brent's family... 525, 162 of 343: Kirk Pickering (krp) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:27) 2 Our love and condolences to Brent's family and to ours. I am so sad. We will miss you Brent. May you Rest In Peace. 525, 163 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:27) 5 161 in response to 159. In response to Audrey's comment, I think the point is that they are musicians and they will play music. Think New Orleans, the great funeral parades... 525, 164 of 343: Michael Tidmus (tidmus) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:37) 4 Wow, beyond belief! I listen to the Dead for hours in my darkroom each day. Hard to believe. This loss has darkened the world an even deeper shade of greyq^E. Thank God, we can always turn to the recordings on tape, in vinyl d in our memories to recall a little bit of light. 525, 165 of 343: Sile Garathorn (sile) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:43) 1 my condolences to his family and our family..We have all lost a friend.. 525, 166 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:43) 19 I think I agree with that. It comes down to the music, whatever it turns out to be. Years ago I sat on the sidewalk and read an interview in which a person named David Gans said to Jerry Garcia "The Grateful Dead is immortal, but these men who play in it are not." (I don't have it in front of me, so I apologize if it's not quite right.) It felt profoundly true at the time, in ways I could only begin to imagine. I thought at the time it was very close to some central thing that was going on. Some years later I met David Gans, and some years after that I got the nerve to ask him about that remark. He said he was mostly talking about the fortunate circumstance that we have a very good record of most of the music. But I think the eventually-to-be-ex-dog was on to something, and it's something we're all going to be finding out about these days. In ways we can only begin to imagine. 525, 167 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:47) 6 I'm glad this is going to be passed on to Brent's family. We loved him as part of a band that has our love and support more than most other ideals and/or people deserve or get in the real world. I'd like to let Brent';s family know that he will always be a part of me. 525, 168 of 343: alien (man) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (11:47) 2 I'm saddened it has taken this loss, but gladdened that so many new voices have shown up to join our chorus here. Hope you'll all stick around.... 525, 169 of 343: crippled but free (moog) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (12:09) 7 He'll be around for a long time yet, in the influence he exerted over the music of the band and in the bright and shining humility of his presence. There may come a time when the appetite of the press for sensationalism will feast on Brent's death, I hope not. But if that time comes I hope his daughters and Lisa will find comfort in the words of those whose lives he touched as he touched theirs. 525, 170 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (12:18) 4 I've opened topic 527 as a place specifically for messages to Brent's family. This is in no way meant to discourage people from expressing their feelings here or elsewhere, but to give an opportunity for more focused messages you might like to pass along. Thanks. 525, 171 of 343: Debra Kaplan (wid) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (14:18) 10 I'm using the company's password. My name's George. I went to my very first Greatful Dead concert at the Shoreline last fall. I was really surprised at all that transpired for I generally avoided "rock" concerts and was into jazz and 60's Motown, but WOW TREMEDOUS VIBES from the Band, terrific comraderie of oops the loyal fans in attendance. Although I've only been a fan for a short period of time it really makes me appreciate the spirit of the Dead that much more and also I feel that much closer to the rest of you who've been loyal members of the family for all these years, and alas my heartfelt condolences to his family members, Let us bond closer and comfort all in these times. Love 525, 172 of 343: Zea (zea) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (14:26) 1 I'd like to ditto what they all said. Words aren't coming easy right now. 525, 173 of 343: alien (man) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (14:27) 2 News report on local radio station KCBS says autopsy was inconclusive. Toxicological tests will be conducted; results in two to four weeks. 525, 174 of 343: Robert Warren Rumburg (camel) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (14:31) 31 He's with us. Just his body's done. He's singing. Just his mike is unplugged. He's playin'. Just his keyboard is still. He is with us. Just listen with your soul. We have all been 'round for a long time. Birds of a feather. Universe after universe. Galaxy after galaxy. Planet after planet. Body after body. Our paths always cross. Have always crossed. Will always cross. Again and again. May be that I'll see you at the next show. Or might be that I'll feel you. Or next tour. Or next planet... Might not recognize you. May be just that feeling that I know you. See ya 'round. 525, 175 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (14:34) 13 I sat moping at work all day, waiting to get home to read this topic some more. Brent's family can take heart in this outpouring of love and good wishes. Is it possible to make individual donations to Rex Foundation? I found sympathetic ears at work, who kind of understood the "like losing a family member" angle of all this, but I'm glad I can share most of my inner feelings here. I had to eject a tape as "Stella" started on the way home this P.M...I couldn't take the dirgege. Will we ever get over this? 525, 176 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (14:36) 1 Sandy, time heals the pain. 525, 177 of 343: alien (man) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (14:43) 5 Hang in there, sje. I still remember that day in '73 when I woke up to the news about Pigpen. Time does help form a scab that makes the pain less piercing, at least until that old wound gets reinjured... Death will leave you standing and crying in this land.... 525, 178 of 343: kevin mccormick (kmc) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (14:53) 6 As I was working to get this old computer at home running again My daughter Melissa came in and asked me if I was still sad. I got choked up and said yes. She said she thought so because she saw the black ribbons on my car antenna. I love kids and it hurts me so much to think about the pain that Brent's little girls must feel. All so sad. 525, 179 of 343: Eddie Amazin' Blazin' Mystify Joe (mz) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (15:26) 6 I am totally bummed. I never thought Brent would be the next one to go. The Easy To Love You from Friday Sacramento started what was for me a very special night. Someone tol me it was 10 years to the day of Keith's death. 525, 180 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (15:31) 2 Ten years from Keith's death, four years plus a couple of weeks from Garcia's coma. Weird. Really weird. 525, 181 of 343: fixing a hole (barryp) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (15:45) 7 what camel said.... i'm going to check up on the folks i love this weekend, you bet. and eat some humble pie for the last time i said something good about Brent. that was about may 88; it is sooo easy to take the good for granted. peace to everyone here. 525, 182 of 343: Philippe Habib (phabib) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (15:47) 9 I was also useless at work. I was late for the class I'm taking because I had to wait for a Dead shirt to come out of the drier. It seemed important to be able to let others who might recognize it that I was feeling what they were too. This just wasn't the day to use the debugger on low memory glbals so I left early. I never realized until now how much this band means to me. 525, 183 of 343: Robert Feraru (rob) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (15:57) 4 In my heart I know that he can "hear" all of our messages, our outpouring of love, and that makes it a little easier to take.Blessings on you and your family,mydistant friend. ^D 525, 184 of 343: Scott and Leslie Goldberg (amdew) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (15:59) 9 Just got home from the office.....Went in early after a sleepless night of hearing Brent tunes in my head. Dictating was not truly possible and the idea of conducting a deposition was rediculous....The Boston Globe's obituary this a.m. on the way to work solidified the reality of what has happened to us. No matter where we go from here, Brent is lost.And the band that he became a creative force in will not be the same. I miss him now and know that it will only continue to grow. 525, 185 of 343: Steven E. Marcus (smarcus) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (16:13) 10 I just don't know what to say... ...I don't think this will hit home for me until August 31st at about 7:30 p.m. when the music will start and I will not hear a musical talent that I have grown to look forward to... ... :-( 525, 186 of 343: Bethellen Levitan (beth) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (16:20) 2 called KPFA and they told me they are planning a tribute at 4:30 today, til at least 6:00 PM. 525, 187 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (16:25) 2 We know how you feel, Steve. Hang in there... 525, 188 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (16:26) 4 I don't want to overreact, but I think Steve is trying to tell us something. If the music happens, and Brent is not there, I will be both happy and there will be plenty of tears from me. 525, 189 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (16:34) 4 I agree, Dan. I won't be able to be there, but a little part of me will, as will a part of the rest of us who can't make it, and we'll all be crying and laughing and remembering. To quote: "you've got to keep on keeping on..." 525, 190 of 343: alien (man) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (16:41) 3 I've been having the same difficulty getting it to sink in, and have that same feeling of dread about the next show. Especially since my first night seat is in the third row of the Brent zone... 525, 191 of 343: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (17:21) 3 All I know is that if it is true, Ill be there...somewhere...and Im going to just wait and see what happens. It will be an emotional night for everyone, band, crew, family and audience. 525, 192 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (17:30) 4 Hearing Brent talking on the radio is like "Oh, there's Brent on the radio!" Nice and normal. And then you realize the limitations of tape. 525, 193 of 343: Rob & Carol Bruce (carob) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (17:38) 3 We're numbed too. No mercy, no mercy......... 525, 194 of 343: Phil Catalfo (philcat) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (17:44) 4 Right now David's playing "Musician" from an album by Silver. "It's not an easy life to live." Rest in Peace. Thanks for everything. 525, 195 of 343: Yer Average Deadhead (wheezer) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (18:01) 22 I don't know, but I'll try... I took BART to work this morning and passed by Where Brentlived. I could feel the life of that mountainside morning his passing. The trees and bushes stood still. It took my breath away with grief. I coudn't sleep at all last night. I spent it alternating between trying to learn more about what happened on the well, and talking to friends. I went through all the ranges of emotions I usually do. My thoughts weren't hinderd just more complex. I felt guilty about making jokes, and watching a movie, until I realized that my mind was telling me that life goes on, and I have to go on. I felt the same way when my grandfather died. It was just like like losing a relative. It seemed to help more than I realized because after I downloaded this topic and read it I broke down a couple of times. This topic is really hard to read. I wish I knew how to make it easier for his parents wife and daughters. I guess greif is just something we have to go through. maybe I'll try a little more later. 525, 196 of 343: Jeff Steinwedel (jeffs) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (18:13) 12 The Brent performance I'm remembering now is the Marin Civic show he opened solo, playing on a grand piano. (The date was 4/26/88.) It was the first time I heard I Will Take You Home. His part of the set ended with the complete Hey Jude, when Bob joined him and then went on with his own set. At the end Brent came back and joined Jerry and Bob for Blackbird and Let the Good Times Roll. It was the only time I ever heard Brent play by himself and I was very moved, because he sounded so vulnerable, so passionate. I have a mediocre tape of that show, but my stereo is quiet, because I'm treasuring my memories now. Somehow they are more meaningful than mere sound recordings. 525, 197 of 343: Bob Bickford (rab) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (18:25) 22 Wow..... so much love here, and so much pain. Since I posted yesterday, there's over 120 new responses...... and all of them have so much to say, that my feelings overflow. Somebody please make sure that a copy of this gets to the band, and to Lisa? Okay? I think that maybe they'd appreciate it. Somehow. I just realized that I only saw the Dead once without Brent..... and I really don't recall that concert at all. (Early 70's, in SF, I think it was in the Park.) Next time I saw or heard the band live was '84 Ventura. So, like my wife (response #78 up there), I can't really imagine the Dead without him. When Greta convinced me to try working for BGP, part of how she did it was to tell me that I could help to make Dead concerts nicer. I loved that idea. Now I wonder if there will be any more that I can help with (yes, I know they're planning to go ahead with the Shoreline shows, etc.) It just won't be the same for me. Love the idea of playing the first show with the keyboards set up and silent. Maybe that will strike some as morbid, but not me. 525, 198 of 343: alan gottesman (terrapin) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (18:33) 9 The last 24 hours for me have been really sad. I've been affected by the dream I had this morning. In it, I'm at the first Dead show without Brent, and there's a grand piano at center stage. Phil comes out, and sings "Desperado" alone at first, then joined by the rest of the band. When I woke up I realized I'd been crying. My feeling about the future is that the Dead will honor their commitments through Europe (possibly without a keyboardist), then they'll hang it up for a while. Whatever they feel they have to do, I'll accept. 525, 199 of 343: David Henderson (wiggler) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (18:55) 6 I am not good at dealing with death-reading this is helping me to cope with my own feelings. I hope if someday Brents family reads this it will help them also. Thanx to all for sharing. Bye Brent, your spirit will live with us forever love Dave 525, 200 of 343: John Perry Barlow (barlow) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (18:59) 3 I will certainly see to it that they have it to read. You're all lovely. 525, 201 of 343: Are We (really) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (19:06) 3 Just it has for me many times...the music will heal the pain and sorrow. It may be hard to imagine, but it will all seem so much more important to us from now on!!! 525, 202 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (19:10) 2 Brent will be part of all of us on 8/31......it's going to be hard, but the music will be a help. 525, 203 of 343: john button (jmb) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (19:18) 22 This evening, while reading these latest thoughts, the shock finally gave way to the hurt, and, to the tears. As much as I feel a part of this extended family, the tears just weren't there last night, until tonite. I mentioned eariler how I felt when my mother died, that I felt there was nothing I could have done for her at that time. The hurt & saddness I felt then was for my father and the rest of my family. Then about 4 years ago, my maternal grandfather died, that hurt so much I couldn't stop the tears. Tonight, those feelings really came home. I haven't felt this sad for years. I want to thank marye very much for reminding us of the ex-dog's words about the immortality of the Grateful Dead and the inevitible mortality of us all. Perhaps this is out of place, and the reference maybe lost on some, but I recall the words spoken by "the great one", Jackie Gleason, in Soldier of Fortune as he lay knowing of his imminent death, and not wanting to say "Good Bye" to his closest friend. Until that time, Brent, until that time.... 525, 204 of 343: Alex Sutton (alex) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (19:32) 7 the eyes the passion sadnesss tears peace love 525, 205 of 343: Zea (zea) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (20:06) 5 I'm getting chills thinking about last fall at Shoreline when they each took a verse of Death Don't Have No Mercy. It made me numb for hours after because it was so powerful that words don't do it justice and any of us who have experienced a relatively sudden death of a loved one would be blown away. I guess Brent had his verse for the last time. 525, 206 of 343: Richard H. Petlock (dupree) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (20:22) 11 I still don't know what to say, Brent will be sorely missed. It still hasn't sunk in, it's all to unreal. I guess I won't fully begin to comprehend the loss until I see the band and he's not there. The last time I talked with him was last Thursday at Deer Creek when during the drums I went to visit some friends, on my way over to them I bumped into someone, I apoligized as did he, it was Brent. I said hello and offered my hand, he, as always, offered his back, I asked him how he was doing and he said good, then I told him to take care and waved goodbye. How was I to know??? 525, 207 of 343: John Shahabian (moog) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (20:50) 3 I think there should be a space here where everyone can not just mourn, but feel the joy Brent brought to their lives. I think the band has shown this in their committment to continuing. We were lucky to have him for ten years. 525, 208 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (20:56) 14 I think there will be moments at Shoreline (as in every east coast city) where we all will miss Brent and then at the same time celebrate him. If you go back to the tapes, Pigpen had an influence on the Dead as did Keith....but in the last few years the fullness of the stage sound has come from Brent, both with vocals and the keyboards. Like the other two keyboard players who spent a significant time with the band, Brent's influence will be on stage every night the band plays. I also think if they do DDHNM that every one of us is going to melt, and hold for dear life, the person dancing next to us. Brent's shining star will be on stage 8/31 and every night after, I guarantee you. 525, 209 of 343: Shirley Sager Hatten (ssh) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:03) 11 I'm just logging in for the first time since yesterday and reading all the new responses since I last posted made the tears flow again. I was able to hold them off as I went about my business but Brent was never very far from my thoithoughts. My band dedicated their show last night to Brent and finished the show with "Knock, Knock Knockin'" and then an acapella chorus of "Dear Mr. Fantasy" that just blew everyone away. Many people came just to be with other Deadhead family and to share their grief and as hard as the night was it was good to be together at that time. I think we are really lucky to be in this special "family" even or maybe especially at a sad time like this. We love you Brent and we will miss you and your music. 525, 210 of 343: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:16) 6 I know his song is never gonna end He'll be with us always I know for me too though, the reality of all this will hit on 8/31. I know I'll survive, but I also know I'll never be the same. 525, 211 of 343: Roy Warren Pugh (alietr) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:22) 10 At the end of every run of shows for years, I have found myself thinking.... "Please be safe until my family and I can be with you again..." It worked every time until now... For me, the tenderness of "I Will Take You Home" as well as the power of the tune have always struck me, never as much as Dad's Day 1990. Melissa and I are very lucky to have been able to share this as dad and daughter. We love you Brent and I miss you so much already. I also feel so close (more than usual!!!) to all in our extended family. Peace to all. 525, 212 of 343: Josh Comay (fatman) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:29) 3 I will never forget the last time the Boys played at Frost. The Hey Pockey Way was probably the best I ever heard and the energy that Brent put into that day was phenomenol.... He will never be forgotten 525, 213 of 343: Eric Taylor (eric) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:45) 9 I send love and light to Brent's wife and daughters. The membrane between life and death is certainly a thin one. I take so much for granted. Brent's death helps remind me of this. Thinking of him I'm experiencing love and sorrow. Big wheel turns by the grace of God....bound to cover just a little more ground. 525, 214 of 343: Rob malone (robby) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (22:06) 5 I'm in a daze, I just don't know what to say.. I went to the beach last night to watch the sunset and listen to a ta^[[D^[[D^[[12/30/86 and when I heard Brent I just couldn'd listen any more. I feel so sad for him and his family and the band and all of us that he's touched. 525, 215 of 343: Amy Osterholm (mtrout) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (22:48) 7 Watching a video of the Summer Solstice '89 at Shoreline ... His incandescent energy as he danced at his keyboards - The obvious love and appreciation felt by other bandmembers - The sweetness and vulnerability of his eyes - His daughters' photos taped to his console - The shimmer and wail, the melody, the harmony - o, we miss you. Go well. 525, 216 of 343: Steve Reidbord (drsteve) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (23:06) 4 The whole is greater than the sum of the parts But some of the parts are damn fine musicians And I'm sorry to see one go. Bye Brent. :-( 525, 217 of 343: red (gr8flred) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (00:17) 22 I did not log in yesterday, and just read all 216 responses to this topic in one sitting. The compassion, the passion of all your words gives me chills. At first I thought it was a joke (people at work think telling me jokes about the Grateful Dead is a fun thing to do.) But when I got to my message box and found that 9 people had called while I was away from my desk for half an hour, and that all 9 were deadheads....I just felt my heart melt. My phone rang last night until midnight, and started again this morning at 7, everyone checking in to make sure everyone was ok. I couldn't cry about this, I couldn't let it sink in, until I heard Just a Little Light on David's KPFA tribute and stared at Brent's picture in the New York Times Obituary. This young face, with blazing eyes, the light shining from that newsprint. And now I just can't stop crying. Like a feather in a whirlwind.... bye, Brent. 525, 218 of 343: For the record. (jal) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (01:19) 2 "This songs the last fuckin' song I sing for you, bitch" Far From Me, 7/22/90 525, 219 of 343: Richard Holborow (rch) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (01:21) 10 marye mentioned earlier about contributions to Audobon society in Brent's memory.... What about his family, will they need help? They should know we are here for them. We are here for you too, barlow, you've lost a dear friend its probably heavier on you than any of us. 8/31 will be a very emotional show. 525, 220 of 343: Harold Worwetz Jr. (slipknot) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (05:49) 31 I just blew yesterday off. It was cloudy here on LI with occasional showers. A great day to feel miserable. They played alot of Brent on the radio, I couldn't bear to listen to a tape. I shed a few tears each time they did. Then I woke up several times during the night last night with I will take you home swirling in my head especially the part at the beginning where you hear the wind up of the music box. And I guess you have to have a child to appreciate how much they need you and depend upon you to tell them that everything will be ok. That man had such heart, such soul so much feeling and he was so able to express that. He was very gifted. Someone very close once told me that when we cry for someone who has passed we are not really crying for them as much as for ourselves because WE never got and won't get another chance to say or do something to make that person know how much we really appreciated them. They are probably doing fine wherever they are because they don't have to deal with this sometimes burdensome thing called life anymore. And we must go on. I believe that. I think today it's gonna be a little easier and tommorrow even brighter. I'm gonna miss those powerful Pockey Way's. I'm privileged to have been there when out of space when you could hear a pin drop there was Brent singing I will take you home with the whole place riveted to the man and his words. It sure is gonna be tough for us for awhile cause The Dead sure won't be The Dead without his style. Somehow, out of our confusion just as out of the most out of control jam there will come order and we will be able to put it all in perspective and it will all be alright again. Though I never knew the man I don't think he would mind if I just said, goodbye old friend, you have no idea how you touched my life. 525, 221 of 343: Renee Michaud (reneem) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (06:36) 4 Goodbye Mr. Fantasy . . . Thanks for touching my life--I'll never forget you :_( 525, 222 of 343: (jb) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (07:20) 6 guess it's common, but i too have played I will Take you home to my 5 year old daughter and we've hugged and cried. It was the first one i heard, Berkeley Greek Sat '88, and because it was broadcast, i've got a good copy. One very much wants to be a rock for children, but the father, alas, is also a frail human. 525, 223 of 343: Nicholas A. Holmes (naholmes) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (07:21) 7 there will be a memorial service at the Washington Monument tomorrow at 11:00 am on the Lincoln Memorial side. Also announced on WCXR 105.9, .... nothing conclusive on the autopsy(sp).. no drugs in the house and no signs of drug use... more tests expected to take weeks...also the shows will go on as scheduled??? 525, 224 of 343: Michael Kirschner (obnoid) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (07:23) 3 I walked in yesterday after a couple weeks of isolation and a message on my answering machine carried the news. Goodbye, Brent. You touched us all, man. No mercy. No mercy. 525, 225 of 343: Bernie Bildman (bernbb) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (08:22) 1 Santana, playing last nite in Birmingham, dedicated their encore to Mydland. 525, 226 of 343: John Judson Hearn (jj) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (08:35) 15 Suddenly I remember the line at the end of Bernie's Christmas card a couple of years back..."Especially good vibes to Brent." (shudder) Amen. I think it would be entirely appropriate for anyone in the band to sample some of Brent's work and use it at Shoreline with their MIDI set-ups. I can think of no more fitting tribute to the *work* Brent did for us all up there. My personal tribute to Brent will be resuming piano lessons in the hope of creating music they way he did. I'll never approach his level-- wouldn't even try--but I can close my eyes and pretend. 525, 227 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (09:08) 5 I know how you feel, John. I used to fiddle around on the piano at home trying to play some of his riffs and stuff. I think I'm going to get a keyboard to play around with. I'll be at the Lincoln Memorial tomorrow morning... 525, 228 of 343: Kevin J. Moran (kjm) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (09:34) 4 Jackson Browne's "Missing Persons" comes to mind now, written for Lowell George's daughter after his all to untimely demise. Wellbeams to those Brent leaves behind. Though he is Far from Me, I won't forget him. 525, 229 of 343: alien (man) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (09:47) 14 I realized last night that I've been fooling myself by thinking I've been through this twice before. When Pig died it was a shock, but we had known for a while that his health was failing and his instrumental role had already been covered by Keith. When Keith died he had already left the band, and we had a few days after the accident to get used to the possibility before he actually passed on. But this is the first time a fully active band member has crossed over, and so suddenly and irrevocably, and the chill in my soul is only tempered by the heat of my tears. He was a friend of mine, and now he's dead and gone... ...no mercy in this land..... 525, 230 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (10:14) 7 What alan said. I might be able to listen to some Brent today...the only song Ive played is the Irvine Blow Awy......i woke up a little brighter today....each day will get a little better. this is the last weekend with my son for the summer....we are going to the beach. i love my son so much, words cannot desribe it. the last couple of days seemed to intensify my love for Andy. 525, 231 of 343: Steve Caicco (slc) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (10:40) 2 I'll really miss you, Brent. Rest in peace. 525, 232 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (11:25) 5 I had made it through some Brent songs last night and this morning, and then a little while ago, while cleaning up this topic upt o 196 that I downloaded last night to send to a friend, "Baby Blue" came on from Shoreline. Not even a Brent song, but I broke again. I, too, am realizing how much this band really means to me. 525, 233 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (11:37) 24 This probably should go in IJWTS but Im going to place it here: I was listening to Paul McCartney sing Hey Jude from the Knebworth tape a little while ago and I went through the following emotions during the course of the song: 1.) I'm glad I was fortunate enough to see the Beatles during their last tour and McCarntey during his first tour. 2.) I really blew it by missing Paul this time. 3.) One of the reasons I love the dead is that they take chances, and Brent has played with various parts of Hey Jude over the years. Who can forget the first time he pulled it out at Red Rocks. Thank you Brent! 4.) For the first time since 10:15 am (hawaii time) thursday morning I was relaxed and boppin' (as Pual says) to Rock and Roll. The power of music is very strong, it is a healing force. 5.) Yes, 8/31 at Shoreline is going to be hard, but I guarantee by the end of the night, the power of the music we hear is going to help every single one of us. Music has helped me get through 34 years (the last 3 of which I would not wish upon my worst enemy, talking about emotions here) and I plan on music getting me through the next 34 years! 525, 234 of 343: Michael Tindell (jmt) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (12:35) 8 I'll always carry two mental images of Brent: solo at the Greek a couple years back, and the last night at Shoreline. Brent just sort of sat there while the other guys were tuning or whatever, dangling his foot around, talking to Bralove or someone else, and then the music would start and he would just kind of look up with a kind of 'oh, ok, time to jam' expression, and jam he did. Peace to his family. He will be missed by many. 525, 235 of 343: Bruce Farley (bfarley) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (13:29) 5 Thanks for all the good times Brent. I will remember them always. You really gave us all a good time. I will miss you very much. I will take you home is a song that my non-head friends like and do not even know it is a Grateful Dead song. Peace whever you are. 525, 236 of 343: Sean Kennedy (liam) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (13:41) 12 Last night I decided to bite the bullet and stop avoinding his music. I popped in a copy of 9/29/89 in my car deck and drove home. On the way home I only had to stop for one traffic light, this really is something special it has never happened before, it got me home just as the first cord of We Can Run was played, that was good because I really didn't wan to listen to it in the dark car alone. Then today I was taping something for someone, Shoreline '90, and I went to check on it, they played "Knocking" and I just sat there and listened, half way through one of the speakers went out... 525, 237 of 343: Steve Paulson (smpaulsn) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (14:15) 14 We've been gone from the WELL 18 months...and thanks to the person just passing through the office today who let us out of the security shell! Thank all of you for still being here... 18 months ago we were all involved in another Brent Topic which might be worth reading again for those who didn't then... Yes, we --my whole family will really miss him... Ben, our 8 year old just turned up "Just a Little Light".... ...... 525, 238 of 343: Pseudable (wlagirl) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (16:11) 2 Blow Away is on permanent play in my head, at various volumes. It's been with me for 2 and a half days now. 525, 239 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (18:09) 7 As I post this I'm watching the Shoreline video from last year and noticing again something I can never see at the shows cause I sit too far away - something that is going to be very missed is the amazing interplay of expression and gesture between Brent and Jerry. Little grins and smirks at whatever Weir is doing, grins after a great "once in a while" line in Scarlet, and the like. I wonder how Garcia is doing. 525, 240 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (18:22) 6 I went to the record store today and looked at the cover of BTL. Unlike the rest of the band members, Brent is holding a card that's half spades and half clubs. A nine, I think. I don't know why. 525, 241 of 343: Dorothy (cpcobb) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (19:13) 33 We saw 2 of the last 4 Keith & Donna shows, then the next week (or whenever) heard that they had left the band. I remember thinking at the time that it was going to be very difficult for someone to fill their shoes. Then along came Brent! He added a whole new dimension to the band which finally culminated in "Built to Last." I hear BTL as Brent's album. He really shines on it! He left behind some truly wonderful statements in these songs as his legacy. "We can run, but we can't hide..." John Coit was a Denver columnist who loved the Grateful Dead & who died in 1986 at the age of 38 from a heart attack. He left behind a wife & 3 children. After his death a book of selected columns was published as a memorial to John. The proceeds went into a trust fund for the education of his children. Included in the book are 3 wonderful columns about the Grateful Dead, which I'll upload sometime in the near future. The book was a *very* limited edition with two printings which sold out in a *very* short time. Someone said that it would be nice to have a memorial to Brent other than just monetary donations to the Audubon Society & Rex Foundation. Perhaps something like the John Coit book would be nice. It could be the words of all the songs Brent sang, not just the ones he co-wrote. The proceeds could go to his family or wherever they would like. This would be a lasting memorial to Brent & keep his memory alive as well as helping his family if they need it. "Life is short, and it hurts. Love is the only drug that works." -John Hamilton Coit 525, 242 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (19:43) 5 I just re-listened to the Blow Away rap from Irvine. I am going to try to post it here. The words Brent came up with that night are truly awesome.... ...Gimme just one damn minute of your time, baby! 525, 243 of 343: Catherine Dunford (dcat) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (20:51) 3 Thanks, Dan. So glad we're all here, whether virtually or in person. "Just a Little Light" is playing right now on a boom box, there are many sounds of love & laughter, and wry expressions at our reason for gathering. 525, 244 of 343: Ronald Albert Grondin (rag) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (20:58) 3 the blackbird at alpine in 88. the whole song fell apart and brent just laughed and flapped his arms. what a time. 525, 245 of 343: Eddie Amazin' Blazin' Mystify Joe (mz) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (21:09) 3 I keep thinking of all the great songs we're never going to hear again. 525, 246 of 343: Scott speaks... (dtv) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (21:12) 13 Where to start? Eleven years of a truly interesting , frequently inspired keyboardist who has/had turned into truly a backbone of the Dead's sound... and he did it in such a slow, humble way. At the shows i didn't always hear his contributions... (Im frequently in the phil zone) ... but on soundboards he's all over the place and i found myself increasingly listening for his inventive tickling of the keys to add his own magic to the band's sound. It's the end of an era and the begining of another...We all move forward in our lives and yet there's something missing a part of me that I will hear in the tapes and in my heart. Goodbye Brent, we hardly knew you. I wish peace to you and yours. Scott. 525, 247 of 343: Mike Cowperthwaite (mcow) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (22:02) 16 I put on my tape of "Revolutionary Hamstrung Blues." Never did get to hear that live (I guess most of us didn't.) I thought I heard little bits of "A Little Light" in it. It only really hurt when I read the words in this topic. The rest of the time it was pretty distant, like the Phillipines earthquake. But I know what everyone meant in their postings, and I can't add more to them without getting repetitive. My best memory of Brent is the first "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?" in Merriweather '84. I was leapin' & hollerin' then -- what a choice! Jerry was offstage, as he often did in those days when Brent was about to do a solo. Watching the evolution of their repoire was always an interesting subtext of going to concerts. I'm so glad I got to see them -- see the whole band -- once they'd entirely meshed. With luck, they'll get to that point again. 525, 248 of 343: Jim Fennell (jfennell) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (22:05) 13 I can't help remebering the weird vibes I was getting in Foxboro (7/14) when they encored with "This Could Be The Last Time". At the time, I was th thinking selfish thoughts, like "Maybe they won't tour again", etc. If I only could have thought... Felt a lot better, though when they ended with "We Bid You Goodnight". Maybe that's what keeps me going. It's not a goodbye, just a good night. Thanks to all of you, my family, whose thoughts and prayers have kept me going through this rough time. Thanks to the band for singing my thoughts and emotions. And thanks to Brent. I'll never be the same after "I Will Take You Home". Here's praying that we all have someone to take us home. Peace and love to us all!!! 525, 249 of 343: Ronald Albert Grondin (rag) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (22:11) 5 jim, alot of us had that same feeling after "this could be the last time" at foxboro. jerry's expression as seen on the screen overhead seemd so sad for some reason. i don't know why, i'm sure it wasn't any sort of premonission or anything but gee it really hit at the heart. 525, 250 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (22:42) 1 I felt the same way at sacramento. 525, 251 of 343: Bob Bickford (rab) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (00:24) 14 Greta said I should go ahead and post this, even though I can't recall the name of the song......... When I was a DJ at a small-town radio station in the early 70's, there was a song by the group _Batdorf & Rodney_ that we had on '45 which I liked *so*much* that I played it almost every other show I did. (nightly) I had never heard of them, and had no idea that one day over 15 years later their name would pop up again as a bit of history in the death of someone else whose music I love....... I wish I could recall the name of that song. It got onto the Top-40 charts, briefly, I think. 525, 252 of 343: Rob & Carol Bruce (carob) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (07:21) 27 Lots of long conversations with our offline friends. Nothing any of us can say or do, but we still struggle to make sense of it all. Everyone stunned and saddened. Lots of special memories of Brent. Please add their love and memories and sympathy to all said here already. And lots of love and supportive thoughts to our online family, especially those touched most directly by this tragedy. We keep trying to remember, the wheel is turning....We can't let go....We can't hold on....We can't go back....We can't stand still....but we keep crying now. We hope this means we will laugh again later. tnf--thanks for the interview with Alan Trist. Alan reminded us that life and death are both part of the wheel of existence. And that, in the end, all that matters is our interactions with other people. Was it just a wonderful coincidence that the band picked the Grateful Dead name? We don't think so. We keep trying to make that myth the heart of *our* Deadhead philosophy. We love all of you, our companions on this long, strange trip. Keep on giving to everyone around you. We will try our best to do the same.... Love - Rob and Carol 525, 253 of 343: Brian McCormick (kmc) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (08:17) 21 Everyone Please Greive But dont forget BRENT KNOWS THE ULTIMATE PEACE WE will never forget him, BUT, He is in a place we all want to BE Its Hard to Imagine Good By Dear freind Your music made me A better person I heard what you where saying I often think of my neice when you sing please SMILE,Brent has gone somewhere where we all hope to be someday Its hard to do but we must be happy that GOD has taken one of its finest people. Brian McCormick **** posted this for you all from my brother (kmc) 525, 254 of 343: Kaki Dipinto (kaki) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (11:23) 2 to rag re 244 thanks for bringing back that memory. 525, 255 of 343: Jeff Loomis (jal) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (12:35) 8 Thanks so much to the people who posted their favorite Brent tapes over in tapes. I let those selections drive what I listened to on the way up. Highlights for me were the Irvine Blow Away, the Laguna Seca Rider (Brent sings lead: "I know you rider gonna miss me when I'm gone" Jerry must have been tired from Crazy FIngers. I think Brent covered for Jer at the Rain Forest as well, end of a tour), the Playin at Laguna Seca and Golden Hall (2/20/82) and Sunday's Hey Pockey Way. Wish I had Monday's Good Times. 525, 256 of 343: paul fichera (because) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (15:29) 18 my decks are still silent 3 days later, although Brent's voice is constantly swirling around im my mind. i haven't been able to say too much, either logged in here or to my friends and family, but reading all the postings and knowing that millions are sharing in my grief and my thoughts of Brent and his family are getting me through. the fact that i can write a letter to Lisa and that she'll get it is making me feel a little better. just today i've been thinking how powerful Brent's music was in order to stir such strong and deep-running emotions in me with "easy to love you" in me although i don't currently have a girlfriend; he was able to put me into a trance with "i will take you home" even though i don't have kids. powerful keepin' the faith, paul 525, 257 of 343: Ray Swartz (baboon) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (18:10) 5 I've been hurting for days, but just lurking on the WELL. I wanted to say something about Brent. Today I listened to Foxboro 7/2/89 to hear Brent's incredible contribution to Friend of the Devil. This is my all-time favorite FOTD. But what I forgot was the intense He's Gone just two songs later. I'll really miss him. 525, 258 of 343: Tom Edds (uryder) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (20:01) 21 My recurring image these past few days is of Brent & Jerry looking at each other at Hampton '86 ('87?) as they coalesce a "Dear Mr. Fantasy" coming out of Space. I had moved back behind the stage during drums for a better view, and found it so wonderful to be able to *see* the band's faces for a change that I stayed back. Few things can so quickly crystallize strong emotions in me as did the exchange between these two masters as they played off of/with each other on that song. I melted then, and still soften a bit when I remember that night. I haven't had the courage to listen to I Will Take You Home yet. Events like this do help me appreciate life. Each day has indeed been a little easier; the WELLfolk have played a big part in this for me. Godspeed to you, Brent Mydland. 525, 259 of 343: Dorothy (cpcobb) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (21:37) 2 KZAP in Sacto played Ripple this a.m. then dedicated it to Brent with some very kind & sweet words. 525, 260 of 343: paul fichera (because) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (22:03) 7 just logging in before attempting sleep restful night to all keepin' the faith 525, 261 of 343: Fred (derf) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (22:24) 23 I've been too numb/depressed/sad to post here earlier, but have been reading and loving all of you for your openness, sensitivity, and group support. At times like this, the WELL as FAMILY shines. I did not know Brent well, but had several long talks with him in the past couple of years, mainly about the technical side of his work--keyboards, synthesizers, computer technology and MIDI. In such contexts he was down-to- earth, knowledgable, interested in dialog rather than monolog. The first time it took a while to break through a kind of shyness that was surprising to me, but later seemed natural. At other times, in casual meeting backstage, he was always friendly, though not "outgoing." Over the past couple of years I have been greatly impressed by his continuing musical development--as a singer, keyboardist, and most of all as a composer. It's as though he found his groove, and was speeding along it, with lots of support from the band--especially Jerry onstage and John Barlow off. So the tragedy is all the more intense, because there was so much more he still had to contribute, so many new paths to explore. We are all the poorer for losing Brent, and though we can remember, relive, and relisten to his musical heritage, it is hard for me to avoid grieving for the beauty and power of the music that he wasn't given time to write or play yet. 525, 262 of 343: Paul Hoffman (phoffman) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (08:27) 5 I'm not really a spiritual kinda guy, but I'm looking very much forward to August 31. I have very little doubt that there will still be lots of Brentisms there. He'll be there for the band, he'll be there for the Brentfans, he'll even be there for the folks who could care less about him alive or dead. And we'll all be there together. 525, 263 of 343: Richard A. Raffel (rif) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (10:47) 10 Having spent the weekend quietly with my wife,Sally,at a Nature Conservancy perserve geographically far from computers and tape collections allowed me to experience the classic "stages" of loss that Kubler-Ross talks about. It surprised me,in a strange way,that I needed to go through this around a person who, after all, few of us knew well. But in reading the above comments it's apparent that Brent was family in a way that perhaps many of us never suspected. I had a passel of memorable encounters with Brent over the years. He never seemed all that sure of himself, his talent, or his (rightful) eminence as premier vocalist with the band. Sally and I send our deepest condolences to Lisa and his daughters. 525, 264 of 343: Phillip B. Coulson (afool) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (13:27) 36 I could not say anything about Brent until a few days had past. It takes awhile to think about all that has happened and, is going to happen, you know? I tuned into Brent the most through soundboard tapes and especially the time he played solo at the Greek theatre a few years back (w/ Bob & the Garcia band- the pre Rex shows there). It finally sunk in that Brent was a MONSTER on the keyboards. I remember saying "good grief, he's do- ing some much stuff that it seems like HE'S driving Jerry to play all this awesome music. He really is a fabulous player and a permanent improvisational asset to the Dead". Even when he first joined the band I felt his voice finally gave the Dead a great sense of elevated quality in their vocals. When BTL came out the 3 & 4 part harmonies were the best I've heard from the group. There is no denying the positive musical influence Brent gave to the Dead. It has paved the way for even more exciting music from the band in the future. But he clearly is missed... Our band had a couple of wedding/anniversary gigs this weekend. Boy, it was hard to play the Dead tunes with him leaving us so soon...I found a picture I took of Brent last year at Shoreline. He's smiling after finishing a tune. I put it on my amp rig to help me focus on giving him and his family alot of "good vibe" as well as to remind myself that we all need to give people the praise and affection while they are here on the planet. It might make a difference in their self esteem. I remember seeing a letter written by a guy who was an important person in his town. People deep down really liked him but never really told him what a great guy he was. When he was on his deathbed he wrote this letter to a friend saying " I don't want people bringing flowers to my funeral. I can't appreciate them then ". When David on the news & the Well said how he thought Brent did not know how good he was reminded me that we should all try to give love & praise to each other so we can feel good about our lives right now. I'm still pretty shaken up as I am posting this. Goodbye Brent. Hold tight people. 525, 265 of 343: alan gottesman (terrapin) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (14:39) 3 I think that we are now going to fully realize the impact that Brent had on the band. Over the last couple of years, Brent gave us some of the most sensitive and important songs in the GD repertoire. 525, 266 of 343: Alex Whitney (bltz) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (17:19) 29 Thank you for the thousand smiles, Thanks for the tears of joy, Thank you for the good friends I made while seeing you, Raining tears for three days now in Greenwich. I was coming back from My Dad's in New Jersey when we saw a flea market with the Ubiquitous Dead Bus selling tee-shirts, some GD Merch, some otherwise, and jewelry. Having cried for 48 hours on and off, I saw the bus and pulled over. Exploring, I found A Calgary Summer tour killer dye... with each member's name down the back, next to a slalom ski flag. I had just gotten to Brents name and was starting to get that warm flushed feeling when the incredibly insensitive dude who was marketing them walked up to me and said, "Hey ma, get that shirt soon, It has Brent's name on it, won't be around much longer," and whipped around to palm some cash from a fat and nasty lady who was impatient to have her change and be off... I was too shocked to be angry. I just burst into tears: this huge, 6'2" 220 lb. Male 26 year old dressed in a business siut, clutching a tye dye like it was my link to life, standing there sobbing. Loudly. It really sucked. He gave me so much, and I never even got to take him fishing, Damn damn, damn... CK^X^X^X^X^X 525, 267 of 343: Jeanne Merrill Rich (jrich) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (19:49) 9 It's been an extremely long weekend, but I want everyone to know the WELL has been a major support system in such a tragedy. I've been listening to alot of dead tapes lately and almost every song has brought tears to my eyes - Brent seems to shine in each song in his own special way. His beautiful melodies on both the keyboard and vocals made each song that much more emotional for me. To me Brent was a major contributor to the soul of the band - and I will miss that dearly. May he rest in peace, I hope he's found a more confortable world to live in. 525, 268 of 343: Glenn Mar (xptto70) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (20:34) 24 Earlier this year, right after Brent moved to Lafayette, I was hanging out at Devil Mountain Brewery in Walnut Creek, drinking homebrew and listening to live blues. I look up, and leaning against a post is Brent. I would have sworn after some 150 hours spent looking at this guy that I would be 100% sure it was him, but in such a normal setting, and with his average Joe looks, I had my doubts. So I caught him by the door and said, "Hey, you know you're a Dead Ringer for Brent Mydland?" We talked about a lot of things that night (and nobody else recognized him, not even the guy w/the GD jacket patch in front of us), but there was one thing that wasn't just small talk. I told him that it seemed like he took more than a fair helping of shit from Deadheads, but everybody, I MEAN EVERYBODY I know thinks he's fantastic and wish we could hear him more often. He looked straight at me and told me thanks and he really appreciated hearing that. Then he did an impression of a Deadhead saying, "Hey Brent, don't bring us down!" I countered with my theory that the blues are not necessarily bad, for how could we ever really feel good if we never feel bad? This is a pretty lousy way to test the theory. "I had a lot of dreams once, some of them came true. Sometimes the light is hard to take when fortune falls on you." 525, 269 of 343: Madeline Wade (silivill) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (21:52) 6 I just finished reading this topic and my heart hurts so much, thank you all for saying the words I didn't know how to say and expressing the feelings that are trapped inside of me. They just don't seem to want to come out. I will miss him terribly. Much peace and love to his family. Brent was a very special person who gave much to his music and the deadhead family. 525, 270 of 343: Josh Comay (fatman) Tue, Jul 31, 1990 (07:54) 11 Over the last few days, many songs and spoken words have been going through my mind, among which are some of the words to Dylan's "Tears of Rage" Tears of rage Tears of grief Why must I always Be the thief? Come to me now, I'm so alone... And life is brief Goodybye Brent, we love you. 525, 271 of 343: John Blakeway Lacy (lacy) Wed, Aug 1, 1990 (07:30) 23 an amazing, passionate, creative, powerful and beautiful musician...one who contributed so much to what we all know as the grateful dead...as a keyboard player....one of the best....as a vocalist...virutally reshaped the gd's vocals... as a song writer...his energy, his interactions with jerry...eye-to-eye smiling ear-to-ear...so subtle and improvisationally creative, colorful and provoking... i met him too a few times..always a nice man, sincere handshake, intense but kind eyes and i met one of his little girls...she asked me to fly her to the ceiling, so i did and then she asked me to again and again...which i did...and then during th next set, she came out on stage and sat next to her daddy during his lullaby, unspeakably beautiful...a beautiful moment for a beautiful man...peace to you brent and to lisa and the little ones...my wife and i just had our first child, i wnat him to have us both around for a long time...my heart is there for the girls...and for the whole band...and for all of you...present and not. peace. 525, 272 of 343: Leslie (amdew) Wed, Aug 1, 1990 (18:58) 11 Seems like "I Will Take You Home" is painful for everyone...listened to my first one on Sunday and cried through the whole thing. I feel so sorry for his two little girls who have to listen to that song. But, it also brought back wonderful memories of the first time I saw it...under the stars s at Oxford Plains...cool breezes...clear summer sky...meeting hsg and eating lots of grapes. Thanks you, Brent, for giving us these memories. 525, 273 of 343: Steven E. Marcus (smarcus) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (15:42) 32 I thought some of you would like to know how the funeral went; To be honest I don't remember the complete details because I was having a hard time dealing with the whole thing: It was in a normal funeral home in Concord, it sat about 150 plus a bunch of folding chairs and a few dozen people standing at the back, The band and two of Brent's friends came in each wearing a rose on their lapel and sat in the front row. After a few moments of silence a recording of Jessica singing I Will Take You Home came over the room. She wasn't really singing, more reciting, when she was done you could hear Brent say something like, "that was real good"... The Reverand spoke for a while, but was a little un-comfortable being in front of this crowd of band, employee's and friends. He strung together a bunch of lyrics to Brents songs mistakenly stating that Brent had written the words,(he had written the words to Musician). Bob Weir got up and said a few words that were more than appropriate, but they got lost in the tears. Lisa's cousin got up and told a few good funny Brent stories which also got lost in my tears. The Reverand spoke for a while longer and then a recording of Brent singing I Will Take You Home came over the room. It was an outtake from BTL I think. We all filed out past the closed casket and made our way the 20 minutes to the cemetary. The band, Barlow and Brents 2 friends removed the casket from the hearse and carried it to the grave. The Reverand said a few more words and it was over. People walked past the casket and walked away. One person cried, "they're just going to leave him there??" But we didn't, because *he* wasn't there... 525, 274 of 343: Leslie (amdew) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (15:46) 13 Seems like i'm doin' lots of "remembering" these past two days... It's been a week and still the pain runs so deep...Listened to the spring Nassau show today. Brent sounded so lively...his fingers dancing across the keys...his raspy voice full and vibrant in every tune...not just "his" tunes. Then in "You Can Run..." he really shone...and the tears shone in my eyes... He missed half of the words and Jerry was flat...but who cares? The singing was powerful...from the heart...and that is all that matters...... whatever we've done, we'll never get far from what we leave behind... Brent, you will never be far from me. 525, 275 of 343: Leslie (amdew) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (15:50) 4 Thanks for posting that, Steven...I was wondering about the funeral...Being so far away, in Boston, it helps to have someone make you feel a little closer. It must have been a very sad day for all of you.......:-(. 525, 276 of 343: alan gottesman (terrapin) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (16:30) 3 It sounds like an incredibly heavy few hours, ones that I've been wondering about... My heart goes out to Brent's family and the band. Thanks for keeping us posted. 525, 277 of 343: Rick Webb (arcturus) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (16:46) 10 Seems like only yesterday since I was at his last gig in Tinley Park. There were several other DeadHeads on the train coming back to SF - we shared audience tapes from the summer tour with each other, oblivious to the news till we got back Thursday nite. It didn't seem possible after just catching 3 of the Midwest shows a couple days before. He's gone..., but his music will live on forever. Thanks for all the good vibrations Brent. You will be missed. The virtual funeral posting helps me deal with the heart-felt sorrow that seemed more like a bad dream than a reality. Thanks for sharing that - you are truly a saint, Steven. I feel like I was there.... 525, 278 of 343: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (17:45) 1 Thanks very much, Steven. Your posting was greatly appreciated. 525, 279 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (18:01) 2 Thank you for the posting, Steve...it brought us a little closer to where we wanted to be right now... 525, 280 of 343: Dan Rubin (djr) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (18:29) 2 Thank you, Steve. 525, 281 of 343: Paul Hoffman (phoffman) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (19:14) 7 Listening to a tape from '82, I just can't imagine a tape without Brent. No matter how mixed down he was, he was clearly there propping up Bobby, giving Jerry something to start with for a solo, fucking with Phil's bass line and bouncing it around. Some tapes you can barely hear him, but now that I'm listening for him, he's very clearly there, everywhere. So where is he now? 525, 282 of 343: Carol Gould (carolg) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (20:00) 1 Thanks for posting the account of the funeral, Steve. It helped. 525, 283 of 343: Hard to Handle (moog) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (20:45) 1 well said, smarcus 525, 284 of 343: Chuck & Patti (cpcobb) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (21:01) 1 Thanks, Steve. 525, 285 of 343: Steve Abrahams (stevea) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (21:53) 35 This is the first time I am leaving a message on the Well having just joined it^[C^[C^[D about two weeks ago. The whole Brent thing is hurting real bad. It's a week since the news came and I still feel the pain. This is also the first time I am seeing this topic and it is a bit comforting to see that everyone is sharing from the heart and supporting each other over distances to unseen faces. I was at Alpine '88 for Brent's first `I will take you home' and I remember how quiet the place was.. and when he finished, I felt such joy for his daughter that her father could feel such love for her. It was a special moment for me and I will never forget that song. I also remember the first time I heard 'You can run..' (Atlanta '89) and how wonderful it was that the band could make such an important topic to the heart. For Brent's family, whatever the cause of death, all they need to do is to play 'I will take you home` to know that he has a soul and he can love. Two nights ago, I was listening to Rock line`s interview with the Allman Brothers and out of the blue (no reference to Brent's passing) someone asked them how they dealt with the music world after Duane's death (I hope I'm right that it was Duane, myself not being musically up on the Allman`s). Their response was that they felt that they had to continue playing despite because they felt that Duane helped to make them what they were and that they felt he would want them to continue... I wonder what the boys are thinking... Brent, I will miss you and what you brought to this world will never go unnoticed. Somewhere in the ether there is beautiful music being made.. We will survive.. 525, 286 of 343: Roy Warren Pugh (alietr) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (21:57) 2 You were right, Steven...he wasn't there. We all know that he's in better space now..Hugs to all... 525, 287 of 343: alien (man) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (22:57) 1 Thanks for including us, Steve. 525, 288 of 343: kevin mccormick (kmc) Fri, Aug 3, 1990 (05:10) 1 Yes,, Thanks Steve. 525, 289 of 343: Rob Diamond (diamond) Fri, Aug 3, 1990 (07:43) 1 Thank you, Steve. 525, 290 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Fri, Aug 3, 1990 (09:43) 1 Yes, thank you very much. 525, 291 of 343: Scott and Leslie Goldberg (amdew) Fri, Aug 3, 1990 (15:25) 2 Thanks smarcus. Your posting tied some ends together in the midst of this pain and confusion. 525, 292 of 343: Audrey Fine (audreyf) Fri, Aug 3, 1990 (15:54) 6 and more thanks from me, steve. i still have Blow Away on constant play in my head...and haven't been able to listen to IWTYH at all... all i know is that after much reflection on the beach i'm so glad that i got all the chances i did to share my piece of this place with Brent, i'm so much richer for it...we all are. 525, 293 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Fri, Aug 3, 1990 (20:50) 15 525, 294 of 343: Steve Abrahams (stevea) Fri, Aug 3, 1990 (21:01) 10 I hear you Audrey (292). I`ve got 'IWTYH' in my head.. When my Grandfather passed away, I recall someone saying that the ones who grieve the most are the ones who were touched the deepest. Brent touched us all.. ... Thank you also, Steve. 525, 295 of 343: Lenny Bailes (jroe) Fri, Aug 3, 1990 (23:58) 3 I'm not sure how I feel about the hint of dancing skeletons & red wig I see hovering about #293. Feel like reposting an old poem to see if there's any different reaction to it this time. 525, 296 of 343: Richard Holborow (rch) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (06:31) 2 Thank You Steve for sharing. It was a bit comforting to know how things went. 525, 297 of 343: Trust me, the Chronicle is WRONG (jb) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (09:11) 47 Amongst other legal things I do is estate planning. Not much any more but i usta do it full time and I can assure you, today's SF Chronicle article is totally misleading! the page 2 article is wrongly headlined: MUSICIAN KEEPS WIFE, CHILDREN OUT OF HIS WILL The article is obviously based on a probate filing, which is a public document: "...Mydland left an estate valued at $2,163,700, but he specifically excluded his estranged wife and two young daughters fro his will, according to probate documents..." It quotes a fairly routine clause, "I have intentionally omitted to provide for any person who is an heir of mine". Here's the real story, buried 2/3 the way into the article: "I give my entire estate of whatever kind and character to the trustee ... (of) that certain trust designated as the Mydland Family Trust".... Folks, what ya got here is a relatively routine Pour-Over Will. A trust document is PRIVATE and nosy-parker stupid journalists don't get to read it. Amongst many useful reasons to have such a trust is to not publicise where your estate goes. I believe it a very reasonable assumption that a trust entitled the Mydland Family Trust does indeed provide for his family. Trusts are outside of probate. No publicity, no probate fees. AND whatever money was already in the trust isn't part of the above mentioned sum. Frankly, it shows a little bit of poor implementation that that much value remained outside the trust. But it was just established in March, 1990. (Well, at least the will was written then; usually the trust is established simultaneously). It is a common mistake to establish a trust and then not fully fund it... The Will is meant to not be important, just to catch any funds outside the trust that have mistakenly not been put into the Trust. It pours its contents (thus Pour Over) into the Trust and the real action takes place inside the trust. To not provide for family in the will requires a clause showing that they were not inadvertently omitted. But that sure doesn't mean that the Trust doesn't provide for the family! 525, 298 of 343: funboy (hlr) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (09:28) 1 Thanks for the good info, JB. 525, 299 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (10:12) 2 Journalism sure can be lame! Poor McNally's head must have exploded this morning. Beams to Dennis! 525, 300 of 343: Chuck & Patti (cpcobb) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (10:51) 2 Aaargh! Why do some journalists have to do these things? They certainly don't do anyone any good! 8-( 525, 301 of 343: alien (man) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (11:26) 2 If they're gonna jump on the will this innacurately, I shudder to think what they could do with the results of a toxicological test.... 525, 302 of 343: Kevin Michael Rardin (kev) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (12:01) 4 The August WELL Party in La Honda is dedicated to the memory of Brent. We need this to heal our grief. For those who haven't heard of this event, the announcement is in the News conf., topic 323. The date is August 18th. 525, 303 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (13:17) 6 I thought the article was amazingly lame also, and jb has done us all a service by clarifying. Thanks! (As if it were anybody's business, of course...) David, is the Hunter statement from the Dead office? 525, 304 of 343: Eddie Amazin' Blazin' Mystify Joe (mz) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (21:12) 5 uh, doesn't this still mean that his family has no claim to the $2 million plus covered under hiw will and not covered by the (assumed) trust ? 525, 305 of 343: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (21:37) 3 If I understood Jeff's evaluation correctly, it would seem that the contents of the estate not now into the Trust, would go into the Trust at probate. Jeff? 525, 306 of 343: David Finacom (keta) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (23:40) 3 And it seems quite likely that the purpose of something named the "Mydland Family Trust" might be to provide for the mydland family. 525, 307 of 343: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (04:18) 1 That doesn't necessarily follow, but in this case I'd expect it's true. 525, 308 of 343: Jon Green (jdg) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (05:41) 19 Well, that's not how people will read it. Here's how it came out is Philly. In the Newsmakers section of the Sunday, August 5, 1990 Philadelphia Inquirer. Reprinted without permission: Left out Grateful Dead musician Brent Mydland, found dead in his home last month, wrote his will to deprive his estranged wife, Lisa, and two young daughters of any inheritance. The will filed Thursday in Contra Costa County (Calif.) Superior Court named James Whitmer, an old friend of Mydland's, to administer the estate valued at more than $2.1 million. Mydland was found dead July 26 in his home in Lafayette. The cause of death has not been determined. "I have intentionally omitted to provide for any person who is an heir of mine." Mydland, 37, wrote in the will executed March 12. The Mydlands' daughters are Jennifer, 2, and Jessica, 5. The will indicated that the estate should go to the trustee and to the Mydland Family Trust. 525, 309 of 343: Jon Green (jdg) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (05:57) 3 I wasn't going to put that in this topic, since this is for praise and remembrance, not for dissecting his will, but since it was already being discussed... 525, 310 of 343: Steve Abrahams (stevea) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (08:48) 3 Thanks jb for the clarification. I read this morning's Phila Inquirer article and was misled and left a bit confused. I'm glad that there is a venue such as this to help clarify irresponsible reporting. 525, 311 of 343: Audrey Fine (audreyf) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (10:29) 3 we heard this on the 'all news, all the time' station on the way home last night. really sucks that the media finds it so important, and not important enough to clarify. like jb said, it's real straightforward stuff... 525, 312 of 343: Eddie Amazin' Blazin' Mystify Joe (mz) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (11:07) 4 As long as we're speculating, I assume that since the office has been saying memorial contributions should go to the Audibon Society (Greenpeace ?) instead of to the family, that means Brent's family is taken care of. 525, 313 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (12:02) 12 I just called a taper friend of mine I hadn't talked to for a while, and got his answering machine instead. It was Brent. The recording, being on an answering machine, sounded like shit. I couldn't absolutely tell what song it was. But Brent was blazing, and it sounded like the Baptists around the corner when they really get going of a Sunday morning, bouncing and screaming and saying to hold ON to that love and don't let it go. It was stunning. It was exactly the right thing to be there. It was 30 seconds of this guy's life on some other guy's answering machine, and it was amazing. 525, 314 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (14:18) 2 Steve, thanks so much for your observations. I'm glad you are part ot the Well family. 525, 315 of 343: SDG (amdew) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (17:44) 3 re: 297 JB- Thanks for that short course in estate/probate planning.....Even a measley personal injury trial attorney can follow that. 525, 316 of 343: Michael L. Fasman (mlf) Sun, Aug 5, 1990 (22:17) 2 Thanks from me too Steve. Being a macho shit I rarely cry but I am now. 525, 317 of 343: Zea (zea) Mon, Aug 6, 1990 (00:03) 4 More thanks, Steve. And thanks jb. I was appalled all day today after finding out that "Brent disinherited his daughters" according to the papers. 525, 318 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Mon, Aug 6, 1990 (13:22) 23 Reposted (slightly edited at Hunter's request) JULY 26,1990 The fourth major Grateful Dead era ends with the passing of Brent Mydland. The first concluded with Pigpen; the second with the departure of Keith and Donna. The third began when Brent joined and began learning the ropes and culminated with Garcia's physical collapse. The fourth era started with an unexpectedly successful comeback, fully integrating Brent's vocal and keyboard virtuosity. He improved the blend, adding, embellishing and sometimes leading the music. Without distorting the character of what was uniquely Grateful Dead, the old songs came magically into tune and richly harmonized while new songs of Brent's own composition added diversity to the band's repertoire. The shows reached a performance peak which now passes into Deadhead history. From here on, the sound of the Grateful Dead will be different. The challenge of reconfiguration, resculpting and refining will be a mighty one. R.Hunter 525, 319 of 343: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Mon, Aug 6, 1990 (14:56) 4 I found the UPI squib from Saturday morning at the middle of the weekend's forty or fifty feet of news...they didn't even mention the trust, just that he "cut" daughters and wife from will. Too bad stringers don't get paid enough to research, huh? 525, 320 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Mon, Aug 6, 1990 (15:01) 15 From todays Honolulu afternoon paper: Martinez, CAlif.. Grateful Dead musician Brent Mydland's estranged wife, Lisa, will receive half of his estate under California's community property laws, according to the Mydland Family Trust. Under the will, the other half of the entire estate goes into the trust for the support and care of the couple's two young daughters, Jennifer and Jessica. The Associated Press reported erroneously Saturday that Mydland excluded his wife and two daughters from a share of his estate, estimated at more than 2.1 million. Mydland was found dead July 26 at his Layfayette, Calif., home; cause of death is yet undetermined. 525, 321 of 343: Paul Hoffman (phoffman) Mon, Aug 6, 1990 (15:13) 4 Ah, that's ***much*** better. Poor Brent. This is not the kind of shit he'd want to have to deal with from people who were so fond of him. 525, 322 of 343: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Mon, Aug 6, 1990 (16:37) 2 Was the Honolulu piece syndicated? Nothing like that in the Chron this morning, needless to say. 525, 323 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Mon, Aug 6, 1990 (17:51) 4 At the bottom it says: From Star-Bulletin News Services Star-Bulletin is the name of the paper...no mention if it is AP or UPI or whatever. 525, 324 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Mon, Aug 6, 1990 (18:29) 1 The correct info was distributed by UPI. 525, 325 of 343: Pseudable (wlagirl) Mon, Aug 6, 1990 (20:30) 4 First of all, thanks Steve for the posting. Second, Thanks Jeff for the clarification. I heard that will crap on the all news all the time station too, and said "Why do I have to hear this crap on the radio?" I knew I'd be able to find the truth here. 525, 326 of 343: Paul Hoffman (phoffman) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (08:24) 5 I feel terrible about that news story. Many, many people who read it on Saturday decided that Brent was a good-for-nothing shithead. That memory will be hard to erase, even by facts. It is hard being a deadhead. 525, 327 of 343: Rob Diamond (diamond) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (08:25) 9 I had to go to a funeral this weekend... My brother's wife's father. My sister-in-law said something about her father that also applies so well here... Something like this.... Close your eyes and think back to the best, most wonderful time you've ever had. Even though it's over now, you still have wonderful memories of it, and you always will. So it goes with the time we've spent with Brent -- the memories of joy will always be with us. 525, 328 of 343: David Hawkins (dhawk) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (09:13) 2 UPI did post a correction on Brent providing for wife and daughters. It read pretty close to the exerpt from the Honolulu piece. 525, 329 of 343: Rx: G D (man) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (09:30) 1 Where'd you see that, dhawk? 525, 330 of 343: David Hawkins (dhawk) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (09:42) 1 On ClariNet, which carries UPI. 525, 331 of 343: Brian Bothun (walstib) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (11:13) 2 It's in this mornings Chronicle too. 525, 332 of 343: Reed (sierra) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (11:57) 10 I'm glad that the Chronicle "correction" ran nearly as long as the original and was almost as well placed (p. 5 instead of 3). Uusually they'll try to bury these admissions of stupidity. Note that the closest the Chron got to a retraction was the line "It was reported earlier that..." and that the by-line of the Why-would-I-want-to-check-this-with-someone-who-knows-about- probate-law? reporter was replaced by "East Bay Bureau." Since the Chron doesn't formally run corrections, I presume there have been quite a few well-placed, very angry phone calls over the past few days. ^D 525, 333 of 343: David Gans (tnf) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (12:06) 1 And some agitation from within the staff, too. 525, 334 of 343: alan gottesman (terrapin) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (14:42) 6 The same press release ran in today's New York Newsday. I called the editor, who said that she'd already heard the clarification. She also said that Brent's lawyer made herself unavailable for a week and a half, and that she was also to blame. So much for checking your facts, huh? 525, 335 of 343: Paul Hoffman (phoffman) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (18:46) 4 >also to blame Yeah, right. Like jb said, one of the basic ideas of a trust is to keep the details out of the public eye. It is really a shame that that could not happen for Brent. 525, 336 of 343: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (19:30) 3 Does it happen for any public figure......the press are like vultures (i'd like to say sharks but there is a certain person here....) when it comes to this type of stuff. 525, 337 of 343: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (19:50) 2 As a former member of that establishment, I'd like to say it doesn't, but it definitely does. That's one of the things I hated about it. 525, 338 of 343: eagle lift mouse into sky...(dancing?) (jacstraw) Mon, Aug 13, 1990 (19:30) 43 Final tribute to Brent Mydland Words from the annals of rock and roll seem most appropriate. The following were written by Ian Anderson, I'm sure he would allow their use as a tribute to a great rock and roll musician. I can express my own feelings no better. Would you join a slow marching band And take pleasure in your leaving As the ferry sails and tears are dried And cows come home at evening Would you get behind a slow marching band And join together in the passing Of all we shared through yesterdays And sorrows never lasting Take a hand and take a bow You played for me; that's all for now Oh never mind the words, just hum And keep on going Walk on slowly, don't look behind you Don't say goodbye love I won't remind you Dream of me as the night draws cold Still marking time through winter You paid the piper And called the tune And you marched the band away Take a hand and take a bow You played for me; that's all for now Oh never mind the words, just hum And keep on going Walk on slowly, don't look behind you Don't say goodbye love I won't remind you Dream of me as the night draws cold - from _Broad Sword and the Beast_ 525, 339 of 343: %( .. (robby) Tue, Aug 14, 1990 (00:39) 16 My first reaction when I heard the cause of Brent's death last Fri was total rage. How could he do it to himself, his family, the band, and us. That is of course assuming it was self-induced (and that is still an assumption I suppose). My second reaction is true sadness. Its such a pity that so much talent and potential has to be wasted to an illness that blinds its victims to the real dangers that face all of us. __God,_ what a shame. Its a disease that makes you overlook the precautions you would normally take if you weren't jonesin'. Its a disease that makes you crazy enough to go for the ultimate answer when other problems seem unsurmountable. I don't know why it happened, I just know it did. I hope it sends out a message to KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TAKING and when life seems to be getting too much GET HELP! :^( :^( :^( :^( 525, 340 of 343: wayne bergthor arnason (wayne) Tue, Aug 14, 1990 (03:55) 7 I left for two and a half weks in Eastern Europe on the day Brent died. I just got back yesterday, and found the news in one paragraph of the old newspapers my wife set aside for me. The Well has been a life line of information, and a way to have my own personal memorial service for Brent. Thanks for being here everyone. And thank you Brent. You brought a lot of joy to my life. I wish you had found more in yours. 525, 341 of 343: David Gans (gdhour) Tue, Aug 14, 1990 (07:52) 3 Amen, Wayne. And amen to Robby, too. I tend to think of drug deaths as suicides, regardless of whether the fatal dose was intended at that moment. 525, 342 of 343: alan gottesman (terrapin) Tue, Aug 14, 1990 (08:40) 12 The news about Brent's death is very saddening. Here's a guy who had the love of thousands of people, a great career, lots of money, two beautiful kids.... I guess it wasn't enough to sustain him. It would seem that he came back to an empty house with lots of good and bad memories and he couldn't handle it. The fact that no needles or "works" were found suggests to me that the friends who found him were covering up what really happened. BTW, David, your GDH last night was superb. Most meaningful was the last song you played, Musician. I guess that pretty much sums it all up. I was glad to hear the thoughts from Barlow and Eileen, and made the whole ordeal a little more bearable. Thanks. 525, 343 of 343: Sean Kennedy (liam) Thu, Aug 16, 1990 (14:15) 4 It's still hard to say how this loss affects me. Its not a material loss, the only way I can describe it is a little part of me has been taken away. There's a feeling that is now missing, part of my soul has been affected. I'll never feel that way again at a GD concert, it'll be a different feeling. Topic 527 - To the Mydland Family by Mary Eisenhart (marye) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (12:09) 58 responses This topic is specifically for messages to Brent Mydland's family. 527, 1 of 58: kevin mccormick (kmc) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (12:45) 7 My heart and prayers have been out to the Mydland family for about a day now. My deepest sympathies I pass on to you. I will miss Brent and will think of his contribution to us all for many years to come. Kevin 527, 2 of 58: Nicholas A. Holmes (naholmes) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (12:46) 4 LOVE and condolences from the Washington DC area. Brent will be missed and never for- gotten. Strenth and Peace to you all!! 527, 3 of 58: Sile Garathorn (sile) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (13:18) 4 Hugs and condolences from the Boston area. Brent helped to shed just a little light on some things and will be missed by all. Chuck 527, 4 of 58: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (13:41) 4 Brent meant more to me than I ever let him know. I mourn his loss and I hope our words help you th rough this time. All our love from Hawaii. 527, 5 of 58: Audrey Fine (audreyf) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (13:49) 8 Brent added to dimension to my life that I will always cherish. I only wish he could have visited us in our virtual community and known the love that was here for him. My heart goes out to you, Lisa, for the pain you are enduring, and the strength you have to possess for your little girls. Much love to you all from Media, PA. 527, 6 of 58: Carol Gould (carolg) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (14:20) 5 My thoughts are with you during this sad and difficult time. Brent was a part of our "family" too, and we'll miss him very much. You know our love will not fade away. 527, 7 of 58: Paul Hoffman (phoffman) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (15:44) 4 I didn't know you, just as I didn't know Brent. But I've learned from all my deadhead friends that that contact isn't important, just love. I hope you feel all the love that we're pouring your way and feel free to lean on us whenever you want to. 527, 8 of 58: Philippe Habib (phabib) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (15:50) 2 I hope you can find strength in knowing that we will all miss Brent and that we also share in what you are feeling. 527, 9 of 58: Sanford Ettinger (sje) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (16:27) 3 I, too, am thinking of you and yours right now. I feel as if I have lost a close friend. I'll miss him. 527, 10 of 58: Phil Catalfo (philcat) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (17:47) 3 I have three young children myself. I can't imagine the ache losing any part of my family would create. Prayers and blessings from our house to yours. 527, 11 of 58: U Can't Touch This - It's Hammer Time! (dam) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (17:49) 3 I looked at my 6 year old last night as he slept and thought of Brent. I hope the memoires of Brent will help you get through this. All of our thoughts are with you. 527, 12 of 58: Be Kind To Your Mind (phred) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (18:40) 13 I got a call from home shortly after hearing about this from the Well. The feeling from everyone I've talked to is very powerful indeed. We are joining you not only in sorrow but in remembrance. A friend of mine who's only been to a few Grateful Dead concerts in the last couple of years said she was sad, "But I'm so *glad* I got to see him in Eugene!" We have a tradition on the Well called the "WELLBEAM" which (if I may be permitted to try and describe something that is basically indescribable) is a call for all of us to give a thought, a prayer, a blessing, to those who need it. Sort of a group virtual meditation. I'm sure everyone here will join in sending a WELLBEAM to you and all those whose lives Brent touched. 527, 13 of 58: David Henderson (wiggler) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (18:50) 6 For Brent's family, There are no words I can write to take away your pain, but I hope when you read these messages your thoughts will be of how Brent touched the lives of so many people. Much Love, Dave and Paige 527, 14 of 58: Lenny Bailes (jroe) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (18:56) 5 Brent had musical love & compassion hardwired into his soul. I feel it's no coincidence that the Grateful Dead revived "Hey Jude" when he came to play with them. I think we'll be reminded of his spirit whenever we hear his voice on tape, and in that way he will stay with us. 527, 15 of 58: john button (jmb) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (19:19) 12 How can I feel such hurt for the lose of someone I never met or knew?! I know that the pain you feel must be tremendous. I feel so much saddness for your lose. I will miss the immediacy his music, his energy, and his spirit, but I will long cherish the memories and give many thanks for the records and tapes, as I know you all will as well. My heart goes out to you all. 527, 16 of 58: Scott (amdew) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (19:57) 5 I'm not sure where to start to tell you how much we feel for you Lisa and your little girls. There's so many of us who only wish there was some- thing concrete we could do to ease your pain...Our thoughts and prayers are with you whenever you need them. Just know that while we'll always miss Brent, we'll most remember the love that he brought and shared with us. 527, 17 of 58: Leslie (amdew) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (20:03) 6 My most precious memory of Brent will always be of the gentle and loving way he sang "I Will Take You Home." I think now of you and your two little girls and the pain you must be feeling...and I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you can't be lost when you're always found. I hope too that the love and prayers we send out to you will help to ease your pain. The heart of Boston goes out to you...with love. 527, 18 of 58: Marc Young (columbia) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (20:05) 6 Brent brought a gift of strength shining through vulnerability which touched me deeply, as it did so many othersI feel for you all in this hour of loss, and I hope that in time there will be a mure of peace for you in the knowledge that he lived a life that contributed to others and to our common world. He was a man to be be proud of, and we will all miss him. Take heart. 527, 19 of 58: Eddie Amazin' Blazin' Mystify Joe (mz) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (20:22) 2 None of us will ever be the same without him. 527, 20 of 58: Sam Whitmore (brahoods) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (20:55) 6 Brent was an amazing keyboardist. I always felt he must have practiced incessantly in order to become as good as he was. In your grief, please remember that his efforts brought joy to millions around the world, and his music will live on in cars, homes and headphones everywhere. That was his gift to us, and we thank you for the foundation you provided the man. Without it, he couldn't have made the music he did. 527, 21 of 58: Shirley Sager Hatten (ssh) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:11) 10 My world was better for Brent's presence and his music. I feel infinite sadness for your two little girls who will miss their Daddy very much in times to come. I think when Brent sang "I Will Take You Home" he touched the child in each of us and gave us the feeling of security that a "Daddy" gives. We will miss that feeling, too, and I hope the love we have for Brent will help you and your daughters deal with the pain of his loss in the years to come. Peace, love and comfort to you all and also to his father ans sisters. 527, 22 of 58: John Lang Lorentz (jll) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:21) 4 We loved him more than words can tell. His music transformed us. We will never be the same. My heart goes out to each of you in this terribly painful time. 527, 23 of 58: Roy Warren Pugh (alietr) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:37) 7 The first time my wife, Joyce and I heard "I Will take You Home", we both were struck by how it reflected all of our feelings about parenting. I shall always think of Brent bringing out Jessica to sing it to her. Especially on Dad's Day 1990. He seemed so proud of her... You guys will always be part of me and my family...Love and peace.. 527, 24 of 58: Michael L. Fasman (mlf) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:40) 4 Since 4/22/79 our lives have been enriched and nothing will replace the fine years Brent gave his heart and soul to us. May you find strength in our shared love. 527, 25 of 58: Al E. (mudshark) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (21:49) 1 I wish you peace. 527, 26 of 58: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (22:10) 2 Lay down my dear brother Lay down and take your rest.... 527, 27 of 58: Rob malone (robby) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (22:12) 2 My thoughts are with you. God Bless 527, 28 of 58: Ronald Albert Grondin (rag) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (22:42) 24 he will be remembered and loved forever through the tapes that we are all so fortunate to be able to have. his talents amazed me *EVERY* time that i was lucky enough to see the band. i have an uncle that plays piano, and he plays very well, so as i was growing up i developed an ear for keyboards, i sort of paid more attention to them when i would hear music just to see what i could pick out. and once i started seeing the dead i was really thrown for a loop. i heard such wonderful music coming from the keyboards, at the time i didn't even know the names of the guys in the band but *WOW* that guy on keyboards was something special. and the passion that came through in every vocal performance addedd so much to each show. i've been to shows where people would say jerry was off tonight, or bobby wasn't quite with it, but i can't remember any show where people would say brent messed up, or his vocals just didn't cut it. he will be missed dearly, by so many people, people that you don't know and never will meet, but please know that your dad, husband, son touched people all around the world with the love and energy that he put into his performances with the band. hang in there. we're all pulling for you. rag 527, 29 of 58: Amy Osterholm (mtrout) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (22:57) 4 He gave so much of himself to us, over and over. His energy, his heart, his spirit, so generously spilled out. Too soon. Love and prayers to you and to him. Go in peace. 527, 30 of 58: mark wieder (mwieder) Fri, Jul 27, 1990 (23:56) 7 "Wherever we go there will be birds to cheer you, flowers to color in the fields around" Wellbeams to your family and ours. We share in your sorrow and rejoice in Brent's memory. Thanks, Brent, for all the times you took us home. 527, 31 of 58: Michael Kirschner (obnoid) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (07:32) 6 Brent will be missed; a truly sensitive human being is rare. So able to express his feelings, to share those feeling with others and touch them at a level we all too often shield from society, and even ourselves. Brent will be missed, but continues to live on in the hearts, minds, souls, tape and CD players of us all. I feel honored to have been touched. My sympathy goes out to you. 527, 32 of 58: John Judson Hearn (jj) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (08:15) 14 I'm sorry. You are in no way responsible for what happened to Brent. He loved you very much. Deep inside, he was a beautiful, spiritual being, just as you are. I keep hearing a line from John Hiatt's "Slow Turning".... "It's been a slow turning From the inside out A slow turning But you come about." I love you all. 527, 33 of 58: Bernie Bildman (bernbb) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (08:24) 3 My heart goes out to you all in your time of sadness. Bless his soul. ^?. 527, 34 of 58: Kaki Dipinto (kaki) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (08:50) 43 O Little Girl how will we tell you your father's music his transformation of energy into joy remembrances for all who heard him O Little Girl how will you know your dad's spirit his intrinsic creations of metaphysical moments a treasure for all who heard him O Little Girl how will you understand your pap's absence his love he shared a living memorial from all who heard him O Little Girl how can we help you your daddy's gone so is mine they showed us the way home but their time with us was too short O Little Girl how will you rember your daddy's tenderness and love you with us will never forget immortality granted from all who heard him O Little Girl out love will surround you it's no substitute no replacement we give it freely returning a bit of the love your papa gave us Goody bye Brent Peace be granted unto you from Vito, Kaki & Anna 527, 35 of 58: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (10:15) 1 That was very, very, very nice. 527, 36 of 58: William C. Crum (casady) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (13:14) 7 Lisa and Brent's parents; Our hearts go out to you. To the kids: Remember always that daddy loved you and was proud of you. Barlow, Mickey, Hunter, Garcia, Billy, Phil, Bob: Brent helped send our spirits soaring and wash away the pain, when it was there to be cleansed. May you draw strength from his memory. WELLBEAMS to all. Bill, Wilda, Jared + Casady, the dog 527, 37 of 58: Alan M. Sheckter (grogs) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (16:52) 7 They found 2 people still alive in the Hilton rubble in the Phillipines today, 11 days after their earthquake. There is a delicate balance on this earth, yet knowing that somehow doesn't make it easier when a tragedy happens close to us. Condolences from Netta and I in Penna. 527, 38 of 58: Glad The Bus Is Still Rollin' (dam) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (19:43) 1 I thought the same thing Alan. 527, 39 of 58: Mike Cowperthwaite (mcow) Sat, Jul 28, 1990 (22:04) 1 I also offer my condolences. 527, 40 of 58: Bob Bickford (rab) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (00:41) 26 For myself: I can't claim to know you or to have known Brent. But, like so many others, I was touched by him and feel deeply for you. For my wife, Greta Bickford: Lisa, I can't claim to know you very well (unfortunately) but you and I have met on numerous occasions at shows -- usually at the mixer or in the laminate seating, where I was working security. I will always remember the joy and love in Brent's voice when he sang "I Will Take You Home". I'll always remember the joy and love you expressed towards him the first time he played it around the Bay Area; you were on the board with your daughter and when he started that song you shone with love and light. I will always remember and believe that you both gave to each other from the best that is in you and enriched each other's lives. We -- all of us on the WELL, all of us Deadheads, all of us at BGP -- are here for you; and our thoughts are with you. 527, 41 of 58: Sean Kennedy (liam) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (08:28) 24 I have been searching for the right way to express my feelings on the loss of Brent. My grandfather was a farmer and had the talent of being a Diviner. Unfortunately he lived in another country and died when I was three years old, so I have no memory of seeing him divine. I have had the opportunity to witness another person divine and it is remarkable, that is how Brent touched me. The Diviner Cut from the green hedge a forked hazel stick That he held tight by the arms of the V: Circling the terrain, hunting the pluck Of water, nervous, but professionally Unfussed. The pluck came down sharp as a sting. The rod jerked down with precise convulsions, Spring water suddenly broadcasting Through a green aerial its secret station The bystanders would ask to have a try. He handed them the rod without a word. It lay dead in their grasp nonchalantly He gripped expectant wrists. The hazel stirred. -Seamus Heaney 527, 42 of 58: Rob & Carol Bruce (carob) Sun, Jul 29, 1990 (09:39) 33 To Brent's family: We are so sorry about your loss. Our loss feels so big, but it is only a tiny fraction of yours. We want you to know how much Brent has given to so many people as part of the incredible experience called the Grateful Dead. We are connected with a small subculture within the GD community--Deaf Deadheads (tho' we are both hearing). You might be surprised to find that the Grateful Dead have deaf fans; however, you do know this band means more than music. There are several of us (Carol included) who do our best to interpret the lyrics at shows for the Deafheads. But our impression is that Deafheads go to shows for the experience, for the vibrations of sound and love that travel through the air when the Dead perform. Brent's contribution to those vibrations is immeasurable. One friend of ours, who is profoundly deaf, told us she hadn't much appreciation for music before she came to the Cap Centre shows last year. Afterwards she told us something to the effect of "Now I understand why hearing people love music." She loved the experience so much that she was back at RFK with us this summer. One of the most intense experiences of my (Carol's) life has been signing songs at shows. I remember signing "I Will Take You Home" for several people at RFK in 1989. I wish you could have seen the looks in their eyes as they absorbed the words. Brent touched so many people in so many ways. Peace and love to you all. Carol and Rob 527, 43 of 58: Jon Green (jdg) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (08:02) 11 To the Mydlands: I was shocked and saddened to hear of the loss of Brent. Although there were many of us "dead heads" who loved him, and will miss him dearly, I cannot imagine the feelings of those closest to him. Brent was a ball of energy. He sparked everyone he played with and to with his exhuberance. The entire Grateful Dead community is with you in your time of need. Love forever. Jon Green, King of Prussia, PA 527, 44 of 58: Rob Diamond (diamond) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (08:49) 6 Brent brought joy to millions of people, and the feeling of joy and love will remain with us forever. The world is a much better place because of him. Rob Diamond, New Brunswick, NJ 527, 45 of 58: Hal Watson (halibut) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (09:14) 9 This fragile thing we so gently held, Has bound us together with love's softest whisper. ----- With love and sympathy, Hal 527, 46 of 58: hlponwy (sw) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (10:49) 1 i was so sorry to hear about this. My condolences to the family. 527, 47 of 58: Brian McNelis (brain) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (11:10) 2 To the Midland family --- deepest condolences on your loss. We all feel it deeply. Our thoughts and pryers are with you. 527, 48 of 58: Alex Whitney (bltz) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (17:25) 7 Brent Mydland's contribution to this earth was very important to me and many others I know. Please know that we share in your grief, and wish we could comfort you, or that this unfairness didn't happen. A thousand tears for you and yours. :..(.... Alex. 527, 49 of 58: Chuck & Patti (cpcobb) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (19:16) 3 Our love & condolences to Lisa, Jessica & Jennifer. Through his music, Brent will always be alive in our hearts & memories. Thank you, Brent. And goodbye... 527, 50 of 58: Jeanne Merrill Rich (jrich) Mon, Jul 30, 1990 (20:00) 6 To the Mydland family: Brent's melodies will always have a place in my heart. I will miss him dearly. Love and peace to all of you. -jeanne 527, 51 of 58: Richard Holborow (rch) Tue, Jul 31, 1990 (20:48) 8 Peace be with you and your family now and forver. We all love you, and will miss Brent always. Rich Holborow San Diego, Ca. 527, 52 of 58: red (gr8flred) Tue, Jul 31, 1990 (23:15) 5 All my love to Brent's immediate family and to his extended family. --Susan 527, 53 of 58: John Blakeway Lacy (lacy) Thu, Aug 2, 1990 (06:34) 1 so much love and peace to all of you...we love brent and we love you! 527, 54 of 58: John F. Whitehead (jfw) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (08:23) 4 Brent brought so much joy to me... I wish you strength and give you my love. - John 527, 55 of 58: (jb) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (08:47) 2 i'm sorry for the additional pain brought on by the stupidity of today's Chronicle article. 527, 56 of 58: Lisa & Co. (liam) Sat, Aug 4, 1990 (17:21) 5 To the loved ones of our brother Brent Mydland: If Brent can experience the smallest fraction of the happiness he has given us, then he is truly in paradise. This blessing we wish upon him. Peace and love, Friends and Deadheads in Ocean Beach, California (Andre, Lisa, Dani, Eric) 527, 57 of 58: Susanne Rivera (srivera) Tue, Aug 7, 1990 (11:55) 1 ...sometimes what's felt in the heart cannot be expressed in words... 527, 58 of 58: Michael A. Henry (mdrew) Tue, Sep 25, 1990 (07:04) 29 Brent's passing came as a grave shock after the euphoria I had experienced on the summer tour in seeing his positive attitude and exceptional musical form. It's very difficult when someone whose music I respect so greatly has to pass on so suddenly. But I realize also that where he has gone it was necessary for him to go. Brent Mydland was to pure a soul for this world. I believe the Grateful Dead community is the only place that could have given him shelter from this cruel and unfeeling world in which we live (certainly it's the only place where -I- can find refuge from it). I realized just how much Brent had meant to me, and how much he helped me along my own path, when a couple of days after his death I spotted a picture of an owl on my friend's wall, eyes wide open, alert yet composed and fully aware. This is how I remember Brent... alive and very in tune. This was what made his music so alive to me. I want your family to know just how much Brent meant to so many of us--his music and his outlook became a huge part of the larger structure of the Grateful Dead that it is still very difficult for me to imagine the Grateful Dead WITHOUT Brent Mydland. Thank you for giving a part of your family to us for the years that we had him with us... and God keep you in his passing.